


When Nightingale Meets Mockingbird

by BeholdIAmDeath



Series: Love Birds [1]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Based on a Tumblr Post, Cancer, Catholic School, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Heartbreak, I Blame Tumblr, Ratings: R, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts, Summer Vacation, Triggers, Tumblr: thfrustration, Ugly Duckling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:04:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeholdIAmDeath/pseuds/BeholdIAmDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt submitted to thfrustrationprompts by ladiesloveloki.</p><p>It's hard being a highschool student. It's even harder when you're being bullied by Tom Hiddleston and trying to recover from cancer. Could it get any worse? Well, it does when Anima finds out Tom is her soulmate because of a phenomena known as "glow." When she gives up on life, it's up to Tom to rescue her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is obviously fiction. None of this is real.

Many of the parks in London were quite lovely in the springtime; vibrant flowers lined the dark pavement walkways that wound around, meeting tiny ponds along the way. All the adults swore that there was no grander sight than the regal statues and marble fountains. However, the children much preferred the parks in chilly winter when water turned to ice and snow. The young girls and boys marveled at the crisp snow that blanketed the ponds and covered the pathways until they were too slick to walk on without help. Nothing was more satisfying to them than running through the snow, ruining its pure white layers with small, clumsy steps.

“Maybe you would beat me if you didn’t run like such a baby!” Anima yelled as she raced through the snow, giggling as she ran.

“Not fair,” Tom whined after her, panting as he struggled to keep up. “If you told me we were racing, I would have tried harder!”

They arrived in a hilly place where many other youngsters were laughing and playing in the fresh snow that fell the night before. Some of the kids were throwing snowballs at each other near a big snow drift by a bridge.

“Let’s build a snowman!” Anima declared.

“Alright, but put him over here, so those kids won’t come and ruin him,” Tom pointed to a clearing separated from the snow-battle that raged on.

It was a cold, crisp day even for London, and the snow reached up to the children's knees as they busied themselves trying to move through it to prepare the base and middle of their snowman. Anima being the perfectionist she was at her age, wanted her first snowman of the year to look absolutely perfect. Tome, however, being a young boy, didn’t care as much for perfection.

"Toooom! You're doing it all wrong! You made the middle too big. Now we gotta use it as the bottom,” Anima scolded. “Can’t you get it right?!”

Tom sighed dramatically and rolled it to their designated spot. "You're such a girl. Is this be-" he was cut off as Anima tackled him into the snow. He squirmed as the icy snow slid down his coat collar and against his skin.

“Don’t be a meanie, or I’ll tell your momma on you!” she snickered as she let him up.

He squealed at the coldness creeping down his coat and to his jeans. “You think my mummy scares me?” he pouted, jogging over to their snowman.

"I know so,” Anima laughed, shaking her hips and putting her hands on them like the girls on the TV did at home.

Huffing and puffing, Tom didn’t argue with her. Instead, he began packing snow to make the snowman head. Eventually, the pair had their snowman built and ready for examination. The bottom was more of a squashed oval or a too-big pancake, with some mud smeared at the bottom. The middle looked neat, with five toy soldiers used for buttons. The head was a little big for Anima's taste, but they hid it with stick and twig hair. By the time they were done, Tom’s mum came looking for them. She too was bundled up, and Emma was with her.

"Tom! Anima! We're leaving!" she called out. “Come along, or I won’t make you hot chocolate.”

At the promise of a hot, sweet drink, both children were racing up the hill. This time, it was Tom who was in the lead. When they got to Tom's house, he and Anima shuffled their way through, shedding their coats, scarves and boots as they went until they were down to sweaters and jeans. Laughing and teasing, they made their way to Tom's bedroom before ducking into his bed and curling up under the blankets with a Thor comic his mum bought him the week before. Tom's mum brought two steaming cups of hot chocolate with a plate of cookies to share once they finished it though.

"I wish I could hold Thor's hammer,” Tom said staring into his mug. “I'd fly to America with you when you left in the summer. That way I wouldn’t be so lonely."

"It's not that fun over there. It’s actually kind of boring and hot. My grandparents don’t do much, but they have cows now," Anima said, shoving two cookies into her mouth. "Besides, you couldn't pick it up even if you wanted to."

"Could too," Tom said, stifling a yawn.

“Nuh-uh. You aren’t worthy to hold it. That’s Thor’s job. Duh.”

They slowly ended up on the bed, cuddled under Tom's blankets while sharing his one Jurassic Park pillow. Anima snuggled the blanket closer to her and tugged Tom close enough to feel his body heat. She was still chilly, and she didn’t like to be cold. Tom hugged her and smiled sleepily. "I'd use it to find you, silly. That makes me…worthy," he said, taking her hand in his.

Anima yawned tiredly before shutting her eyes. “Whatever, Tom."


	2. Chapter 2

Anima absolutely loved playing with Chris and Tom at school. They were so much fun to play with and hang around during their same fifth grade classroom. The two boys were imaginative and always created fun games for all of them to play together. Tom made up a new game for them where Anima had to play the damsel in distress since she was the only girl while the two of them took turns saving her from each other. Usually, Anima hated those games because she didn’t get any fun stuff to do, but she secretly loved it when Tom saved her or kidnapped her and hid her on the playground. Playing with Chris was fun, but spending time with Tom was even more fun. They would talk in hushed tones and tell each other secrets while they waited for Chris to come along and find them.

Tom looked around before he sat down next to Anima under the slide where he chose to hide her. She smiled at him, and he smiled back at her. "I've hid us good this time. It’ll take Chris forever and ever to find us," he cackled happily before he plopped down beside her. "I've got something to tell you, but you have to promise you won't tell and-"

"I won't tell anyone," Anima said excitedly, shaking her head to emphasize her sincerity. “Pinkie swear!”

"And you won't laugh...or make fun of me."

"Just tell me!"

Tom took a deep breath. "I have a crush on Holly," he finished and a blush rose to his cheeks. “I think I might…I dunno, ask her out.”

"What?" she asked him after his words finally reached her, a little shocked at them. She hated Holly! She was always being mean to her during class and outside. She was so angry with Tom for telling her…for even liking Holly in the first place. Did he not care about how Holly treated her?! Anima was supposed to be his bestest friend. Not. Holly! Holly was just a preppy girl.

His blush grew. "I have a crush on Holly."

"Holly?"

Tom suddenly got a faraway look in his eye as he looked away from Anima to something up in front of him. "She's pretty, isn't she? The color of her hair is so amazing. It reminds me of chocolate."

Anima didn't even try to hide her frown that time. "She has the same hair color as me."

Tom studied her for a moment before shaking his head. "No, you don't."

"Do too!"

"Do not. Her hair is different from yours. Yours looks more like mud."

"We have the same hair color and I'm prettier than she is," Anima snapped. Her nose started to bleed, so she covered her nose with her sleeve. She’d been getting a lot of nosebleeds lately.

"No. She's waaaay prettier than you."

Anima's mouth fell open. How dare he say that to her?! Her daddy said no true man says bad things about girls! Anima felt tears well up in her eyes and she started crawling out and away from Tom. She didn’t want to see him never ever again. She just wanted to get away. Why was Tom being so mean to her? Why would he tell her she wasn’t pretty? Did everyone think she wasn’t pretty? What if she never got married because she would always be ugly and no one would like her?

"Annie, wait!" he grabbed her arm. “Where you goin’?”

Anima fell on the ground though when he jerked her arm. She couldn't move or talk, and then a jolt of electricity shot through her. It was like the time Tom dared her to lick a battery and she couldn’t feel her tongue for almost an hour. She could hardly breathe or move as she stared up at Tom and Chris above her. Then she saw Mr. Bowie over her and she was turned on her side. When she stopped trembling, she tasted metal on her tongue, but she wasn't bleeding. She was so tired too. She really wanted to sleep, but she was too scared to.

"What's wrong with her?" she heard Chris ask.

“What’s coming out of her mouth?”

"I don't know, Tom," Mr. Bowie said as he picked Anima up. "She's had a seizure. Run inside and tell Mr. Tennant to call the hospital, okay? Hurry."

"O-Okay...will she be alright?"

"She'll be fine Tom."

Anima turned when she saw Tom leaving. She tried to sit up and ask him to come back, but Mr. Bowie just made her lay back again. He told her to just relax and try to stay calm. Why wouldn’t he let her talk to Tom? She wanted to talk to him! Maybe it was okay to take her nap now though. She was feeling really sleepy like all her energy was sucked down through her toes. All her muscles hurt and felt crawly underneath her skin like those big snakes at the zoo. What was wrong with her?


	3. Chapter 3

Anima was going to be a new student all over again. After being cleared by her oncologist, she and her family moved back to London, England. She was enrolled at a private coed school called the School of the Eternal Peace of Saint Bartholomew. Anima was used to US high schools, so having to wear uniforms was a new concept for her to learn. Her pleated skirt was knee length and deep purple while her top was a white blouse with a purple built-in ascot to tie around her neck. She wasn't allowed to paint her nails, wear makeup or dye her hair. Well, there was no problem there since her hair hadn't grown back yet. The problem was that she couldn’t wear wigs either.

"Alright Anima, this is your new school. Now try to not cause any trouble at school. Remember: we're going to get the port removed from your nose after school today. Try not to irritate it."

Anima smiled at her mom, trying to make her calm down. She worried a lot about Anima ever since the oncologist cleared her. "Don't worry mom. I'll be fine," she said, kissing her cheek and putting on her beanie the school sanctioned.

She looked at her new school and took a deep breath. The school had two floors, and it had iron gating around it. Some of the windows had stained glass in them while by the sign, a statue of a saint holding his own skin. It really was quite posh. When she looked around, Anima saw a group of four guys leaning against the school building. Two of them were smoking, and they all were wearing sunglasses and their matching uniforms. They all looked like they were staring at her as she walked up. It made her uneasy as she tugged at the side of her beanie to cover her reddening ears.

As she walked up the path to the large front doors of the school, she was stopped by someone calling out to her. "Hey! You! Baldie!" a deep voice called. Anima looked over and saw one of the guys motion for her to come over when they made eye contact. The one talking to her had curly black hair and stubble on his face. He smirked. "Come here."

Anima looked around before walking over to him. "Yes?"

The male smirked. "You didn't see anything. You didn't hear anything. Got it?"

"U-Uhm...sure."

"Good girl. Do what we say and there won't be any trouble. Oh, and don't piss us off," he poked her hard in the shoulder.

Another guy with blonde, scraggly hair put in a ponytail, blue eyes and a cigarette hanging from his mouth, put his hand on the other guy's shoulder. "Don't I know you from somewhere? You look familiar. What's your name?"

"A-A-Anima," she said, clutching her book to her chest. She was getting scared as they started to close in on her like wolves surrounding an injured fawn.

His eyes lit up. "Fuck, yeah. You used to go to King's Arrow. I remember you now. Hey, Tom, it's Anima. Remember?"

Tom? Tom Hiddleston? He was here? That meant that had to be Chris. He looked completely different! She looked over to the one Chris was talking to, and her eyes widened. Tom had a head full of strawberry blonde curls with piercing blue eyes. He had a smooth face unlike Chris and the first guy who talked who wore stubble. Tom was lanky as always and had his arms folded over his chest. He hadn’t changed much, and she could nearly feel her heart lurch up in her throat.

He looked her over like a piece of meat. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Obviously, she isn't anything of value."

She looked away, hurt by his harsh words. She knew she wasn't much to look at, but did he really have to say that? Even now, he still thought that she was ugly. She couldn’t really blame him though. She looked at the three others as they laughed at Tom's jab at her. A few seconds later though, the bell rang loudly and sharply. School would start soon, and she needed to get to her first class. Anima turned to leave when a foot shot out and tripped her, making her land face-first in the grass.

"See you around, baldie," Tom said as he turned and walked away with the others laughing with him.

Having to pick up her things and go to the office made Anima late for her first class period. Apparently news had spread about her interaction with those guys. They were the school bullies according to what Anima was hearing from the other students. Each year they chose a victim to lurk around, and from the sounds of it, Tom chose her. He was apparently one of the more ruthless of his group of four. As the day went by, she only became more and more worried. All of her classes were with Tom.

When the final bell rang, she walked outside and waited for her mom to pick her up to get her port removed from her nose. As she waited, she saw the guys from earlier coming outside. She moved into a corner, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible.

"What the hell?! What have I told you three about talking to my girl?!" Tom was saying in the emptying hall. "Holly's got wandering eyes. You trying to make my job worse? Jesus."

The guys laughed at him, but then they got quiet.

Anima tensed at the sound of footsteps coming closer. She just hoped they wouldn't notice her hiding from them. Please not her. She didn't want a bully to worry about. She just got there. Luck didn't seem to be on her side though. One moment, Anima was stock still, and in the next moment, she was soaking wet with what smelled like strong whiskey. She looked up to see Tom grinning down at her with a now empty water bottle in his hand. Anima whimpered in her throat, close to tears as the guys started laughing and patting Tom on the back.

"Go back to America!" they yelled at her.

"We don't need any more bloody Yanks in this country."

As they walked away, Anima realized she was shaking like a leaf. What had she gotten herself into with these guys? She suddenly missed America a whole lot more than she had before now. When her mom got there, she had wiped away her tears, and her clothes had dried in the most uncomfortable way possible. She couldn't let her know about any of what happened today. They had just moved, and her mom was still struggling with getting a new job at another public school. Her dad was trying to work on their citizenship before he was stationed in Germany for six long months.

Anima stood and ran over to the car before sliding into the far back seat. She didn't want her mom getting a whiff of her clothes. Her mom smiled at her through the rear view as she pulled out onto the street. "How was your first day of school?"

Anima looked away. "It was...okay I guess."


	4. Chapter 4

Anima walked into her third hour biology class earlier than anyone else including the teacher. She wanted to get a seat in the front, so Tom wouldn't pester her as much during class. On her first day, she made the mistake of sitting further in the back. Tom sat behind her and poked her in the back with his pencil until she bled in several places. The whole time, the other students just snickered or laughed at her. The teacher couldn’t see it, so she didn’t do anything. Anima sat down in the far right near the door, self-consciously feeling her face. The tube wasn't there anymore. It felt weird, but it was a good kind of weird. She had just finished another chapter in her life.

The teacher walked in the classroom as all the other students filtered in, so Anima was saved from their condescending remarks or acts. They still gave her the looks though which was just as bad if not worse. When the bell rang, she felt a poke on her back. Tom was only one seat away, and he had a note out facing her: **NICE TRY**. Anima ducked her head towards the front, pulling her biology book out of her backpack as she went. Today they were going to talk about the "glow" phenomena that started only four years ago. It was a very sexually-charged topic in America, so it wasn't really taught in high schools just yet. It would be nice to learn the science of it.

"Alright, class, today we will be discussing the 'glow' phenomena,” the teacher said as she wrote it on the smartboard in curly script. “Before we start, let me say that if I hear anything crude or immature, you'll go straight to the Dean with a recommendation of in school detention. Pull out your books. We’ll start on page 423."

With that, they started class. The phenomenon was first found in the Northern areas of Australia before traveling into Eastern countries like Indonesia and China. Thinking it was some disease, many countries started to close their borders to these “infected” countries. It didn't stop this odd phenomenon from spreading though. The world was in a panic when they discovered that every country was infected with this “disease.” They started to pour all of their resources into finding a way to stop the pandemic from wiping them out.

A scientist from America discovered the phenomenon was actually quite harmless when treated with proper knowledge. Her name was Hannah Dawdric, and it was actually an accident that she even discovered it at all. First, she noticed a pattern. Married couples were usually the ones that were infected first. Oddly enough though, it only occurred in heterosexual couples. That’s when she decided to do a little more investigating into the effects of the “love” hormones. It was because of a spill during an earthquake that she found the answer at all. She often said it was a "God thing" that she ever discovered it. Because of that quote though, she became a pariah to the science community.

"Alright," the teacher said after writing down the last of the notes on the board. "Now that the history portion has been taught, let's get down to the biology of the matter. Students, turn to page 455, paragraph three."

Healthy individuals host thousands of bacterial types, different body sites having their own distinctive communities of many types of bacteria. That was something everybody knew already. Skin and vaginal sites show smaller diversity than the mouth and gut which show the greatest richness. The bacterial makeup for a given body varies from person to person, not only in type but also in abundance. The "glow" bacterium is officially called Anaerobacter Cardia Luciferase. The reaction is caused when two biologically and mentally compatible "mates" are in close proximity.

Once activated, the bacteria become bioluminescent only in the area of the pericardium and cardio-pulmonary tissues. These bacteria must be kept in a non-hostile state through use of the "three stages of love" which is often cited by psychologists and neurologists when discussing the phenomenon humans call love. The first stage of love is driven by the sex hormones: testosterone and estrogen.

"That's it! Mr. Cumberbatch, step out."

"Yeah, yeah," said the boy with curls as he stood. He was one of the ones who hung out with Tom on a regular basis. Judging by the pin on his lapel, he was a senior. He was the one who called her out when she first came to the school. He'd been humping his desk when he got in trouble.

The second stage was attraction, caused by three main neurotransmitters: adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. The initial stages of falling for someone activate a stress response, increasing blood levels of adrenaline and cortisol which is what caused sweaty palms and fast-racing hearts. Dopamine stimulates "desire and reward" by triggering an intense rush of pleasure similar to when taking cocaine. It causes a sort of addiction to the feeling.

Stage three is the attachment stage that keeps couples together. There are only two major hormones involved: oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released during an orgasm.

"Mr. Freeman, why don't you go visit the Dean with Mr. Cumberbatch?"

"I didn't do anything!" he scoffed with a dramatic look on his face. He was another of the boys who stuck near Tom and his brood. He was a senior too judging by the pin.

"Now!" the flustered teacher snapped. After hearing Martin make orgasmic noises, she was quite ready to send him out too.

Oxytocin is said to deepen the feeling of closeness and attachment. Vasopressin is the other hormone important for long-term commitment and is released after sex. Without the three stages, the "glow" bacteria will begin to devour the body starting with the pericardium. The patient will eventually die without this connection once it is actually activated. This is why elderly couples tend to die in close proximity to each other.

"Alright, students, any questions?" the teacher asked after removing her reading glasses. “Be quick, class is about to finish.”

Anima was the only one who raised her hand.

"Yes, Ms. Ruperre?"

"Isn't there a way to...maybe slow the process a bit?"

"Chemotherapy is used most often. In America, doctors will sometimes prescribe a form of cocaine to also slow the process."

The bell rang just as the teacher was finishing her sentence, and she was one of the first to leave the room.

Anima was slow about getting her things together, so she was again victim to Tom and his antics. He came up from behind as he walked by and ripped her beanie from her head. “Teacher’s bitch,” he snorted.

“No, please give it back! Give it back! Tom, please!”

As he walked, Tom wadded it up and headed in the direction of the boys' bathroom. Anima begged and pleaded for him to give it back, but she was too paralyzed with shock to even think of going after him. She began to shake. Anima was extremely self-conscious about her lack of hair, and the fact that wigs were banned at the school made her feel no better. Everyone was staring. She was a freak, and they were laughing at her. She covered her head with her hands in shame and felt tears welling up in her eyes before they dripped onto her desk where she still sat.

"Hey, uhm...you alright?" a girl's voice asked her.

Anima nodded and wiped her eyes, not looking up. Maybe the girl would leave if she didn’t talk to her. She was embarrassed. She almost wanted to apologize for making anyone have to see her. Anima used to have thick brown hair, and it was her best feature…her only good feature. Now she was hideous. She was horrible. Unclean. Ugly. Unwanted. She was all of that and more. More tears began to well up in her eyes, and her chest jolted with a shaky, sobbing breath.

She stopped though when a beanie was gently tucked onto her head. It was the girl who asked her if she was okay or not. She put a hand on Anima's back and rubbed circles into it as she knelt beside her to see if she was okay. Anima just cried for a little while before she got the courage to look up. The girl beside her had black hair and dark skin. She was an Indian looking girl. Judging by her accent, she wasn't local either. After adjusting the beanie, Anima stood and picked up her book bag.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"No problem," the girl stuck out her hand. "I'm Rajna Mukhopadhyay."

"Uhm...Anima Ruperre," Anima said, taking her hand cautiously.

"I noticed you've been targeted by Tom. He's pretty vicious when he feels like it. I was lucky enough to get targeted by Ben; he's such a wuss. I mean, have you seen the guy? He looks like a girl."

Anima giggled.

"Hey, want to grab some lunch with me? I’ve noticed you always sit by yourself."

"Sure."

“Sweet,” Rajna said with a smile. “C’mon, I’ll follow you to your locker.”


	5. Chapter 5

Anima waved goodbye to Rajna as she walked off with one of her friends to their car. She lifted her bag onto her lap in her seated position against the wall in a place that was well hidden. No one would see her unless they were really trying, and she could still see if her ride came up. It wasn't unusual for her mom to be a few minutes late, so she wasn't all that worried when she ended up being one of the last students there. Instead, she pulled out her favorite book: To Kill a Mockingbird. She read it so often that the pages were yellowing and the cover was faded. There weren't many who felt the same as her about Classic American Literature, especially not in England. Most people loved things like Dracula and Shakespeare. All of those were nice, but they were no To Kill a Mockingbird.

Her heart plunged down into her shoes when her book was jerked away from her hands. It was Tom and his friends. How had they gotten so close without her realizing it? Her heart was immediately seized in terror. Her book bag was jerked away too by Martin before he handed it off to him. Anima looked around, panicked, but any help was nowhere to be seen. No one wanted to get involved, lest they get targeted too. Her mouth suddenly felt as dry as sandpaper.

"What's this?" Tom asked loudly, waving the book just out of her reach. "This is shit. No wonder your mum has ditched you here. Hell, I'd ditch you too if you liked this shit."

Anima felt tears pricking her eyes and blinked them away. She absolutely couldn't cry in front of them, but her throat was too thick for her to speak. She just shook her head and looked at the floor. She was starting to shake again.

"You hear me, baldie? Your whole family probably got sick of you. Let’s see, what’s this," Tom said, reading from the page she was on. “The one place where a man ought to get a square deal is in a courtroom, be he any color of the rainbow, but people have a way of carrying their resentments right into a jury box. As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash,” he talked in a hickish accent. “What utter shit!”

Anima flinched as Tom threw her book to the ground and stamped on it. Then he took his can of soda and poured it into her book bag before throwing it at her head. Her head bucked back into the wall, making a bright white flash of pain shoot across her skin. Grimacing, she clutched her head with her hand. It would probably bruise.

"Why don't you just go play in the traffic, do everyone a favor."

Anima wiped furiously at her cheeks, but the tears pushed themselves out of her eyes, as if desperate to betray her true feelings. She sniffed and felt a sob building up in her chest. Chris laughed as Tom made a sudden move like he was going to punch her, and Anima flinched back.

"Hey!"

Anima's heart leapt at the shout, and her head flicked up. She knew that voice! That was her brother! Brandt stood on the behind them, marching forward in his RAF attire. His eyes flickered dangerously from Tom to Anima and back again. His fists were clenched at his sides as he strode towards them. His face was beet red, and he was baring his teeth. Anima had only seen him this angry once before when his ex-fiancée left him. Everyone moved aside as he shoved his way into their midst, his face the picture of fury.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snarled. "Get the fuck away from my sister, bloody pricks."

All of the boys and gawkers seemed shocked at the turn of events, but Anima couldn't have been more relieved that her brother had come to her rescue. He glared daggers at Tom as he picked up her things and took her bag. Then, he shoved his hand into Tom’s pocket, took his wallet, and pulled out a twenty before throwing it to the ground. “This is for my sister’s book and her bag, wanker.” Brandt picked Anima up and marched to the car.

Anima wiped her tears away quickly, horrified that Brandt had seen her crying over some stupid bully on the schoolgrounds. "Thanks," she sniffled.

Brandt deposited Anima in the passenger seat before he slid into the driver’s. They rode in silence for the majority of the ride home. In the garage under the house though, Brandt stopped Anima from escaping. He didn't look any more calm than he had before. "What was all that about?"

"It's nothing."

"That sure as hell didn't look like 'nothing.' It looked like you were getting picked on. I have half a mind to tell mum about this."

"No, it's seriously nothing. Come on, Brandt, don't tell mom. We just got settled, and I don't wanna stress her."

Brandt scowled. "Fine, but you tell me if this shit happens again. Got it? I’ll kill every single one of those bloody fuckers."

Anima knew she couldn't do that. Brandt had a life now. He was about to propose to his girlfriend of two years. She couldn't pester him with something as trivial as bullying...not whenever Brandt had his whole life ahead of him. He had just been promoted after all. She would only hold him back from his dreams and pursuits. She wasn’t at all worth the trouble.

"Got it."

“You promise me, Anima. You’re going to tell me when this happens,” he said, grabbing her chin and squishing her cheeks together.

“I promise,” she nodded.

With a smirk, Brandt nodded and kissed her cheek. “Now get upstairs and make us some food.”


	6. Chapter 6

Anima woke late in the afternoon. It was spring break after all. She had to get up though because Rajna invited her to a get together to celebrate the break with her. Anima took a long shower to replace the feeling of sleep and filminess with a feeling of cleanliness. She always loved showers. She felt like when she was there, the world and its problems just washed away. Eventually though, she did get out, dry herself off and wrap a beach towel about her, going into her bedroom in search of something to wear. In passing, she threw a despairing glance at the laundry basket. She would regretfully have to tackle that problem soon.

She opened her closet and started looking through everything she had. Her eyes fell on a knee length green sundress with quarter sleeves, and after a moment's hesitation, she pulled it out. Desperate times called for desperate measures, but at least her mom would be pleased she was wearing some feminine things. She got dressed and put on a pair of white sandals. She then fixed her wig and pulled it on before brushing and adjusting it so it looked at least semi natural against her pale white skin. Then she put on a light layer of makeup.

After a quick lunch of peanut butter and jelly flatbreads with Bradnt, it was time for her to head out to Rajna’s house. Brandt drove her across town to a country club home. It was in a gated community, and it looked so nice…much nicer than Anima’s home. Nervously, Anima stepped out and went to the front door. She was so nervous. What if the other girls didn't like her? What if they made fun of her? What if Rajna just invited her to be comic relief? When Rajna opened the door, Anima could hear sounds of laughter and conversation filtering through from inside. She could practically picture them laughing about her.

"Oh, hey, Anima," Rajna's smile was as bright as her orange tshirt and white capris.

"Hello," she mumbled nervously as she glanced over Rajna's shoulder.

Rajna opened the door wide. "Well, hurry up, come on in and join the fun. I’ll fix you a cup of tea. Help yourself to the cookies."

Anima did not like this idea at all. She hesitated, but she knew perfectly well that there was no way to back out. She would have to go in and face a doubtlessly critical jury of strange females, a daunting prospect that made her curse her decision to wear a dress. Rajna was looking at her questioningly, so Anima braced herself and stepped inside, banishing her inhibitions to the farthest corner of her mind. If she gave in to cowardice now, she would definitely not make a good first impression.

In the living room, a group of four girls were gathered around a coffee table engaged in animated conversation. Anima recognized every single one of them from school. Some of them assisted her tormentors. Two were sitting on the couch while the other two sat on the floor on cushions. The talking ceased abruptly when Anima entered, and all four of them turned to look at her.

"H-Hello," she said, carefully surveying the faces that were turned toward her.

They were all so pretty, and she...well, she self-consciously adjusted a strand of hair. Anima froze unconsciously when her eyes met the fourth girl. Oh no...it was Holly. This was the same Holly that destroyed hers and Tom's relationship all those years ago. The same one he was dating at this very moment? What was she going to do? She felt so much more out of place and uncomfortable than before. She was shaking!

"Guys, this is Anima," Rajna said as she came up behind her. She pointed at each of the girls, making introductions. "This is Joan, Merlyn, Sophia, and Holly."

"Hello," the quartet said more or less simultaneously.

"Rajna has told us a lot about you."

"Sit down, have some tea," Joan said invitingly.

"Or would you rather sit here?" the blonde on the sofa said. "Holly and I can make room for a third."

Anima managed to tear her eyes away from Holly, who hadn't spoken and was looking back at her with a glare. "No, uhm...the floor is fine."

An extra cup of tea was poured, and once Anima had seated herself, the true inquisition of her character could begin. They were nice in an "oh you poor, pathetic thing" sort of way, not in a sincere one. Holly was the least talkative, but she appeared to be listening attentively. Other than her though, the girls smiled and drank their tea as if she wasn't even in the room. Their acceptance had to be Rajna's doing; surely she instructed her friends to be nice: _"Girls, Anima will be joining little party later on. She's weird, but all try to give her a chance, m'kay?"_

"Hey, Anima," the girl named Merlyn said. "Was that your dad in the car?"

They watched her drive up?! "Uhm...no, he's my brother."

"He is so hot," Merlyn continued keenly, not making a secret of her appreciation.

In the privacy of her own thoughts, Anima felt quite spiteful. Holly had a look of beauty and sensuality where she didn't. She was everything Anima wasn't. She felt a sting of irritation only when she looked at Holly. Clearly the relations between Tom and her were born from lust, not love, and it seemed more than likely that she found pleasure in more than one bed judging by the way she agreed with Merlyn. Anima just didn’t understand it. Why would anyone sleep with someone if they didn’t love each other? Wasn’t it kind of pointless?

Anima discreetly texted her brother to pick her up. This was most definitely not her scene, and she wasn't welcome. When he honked, she stood up quickly, said goodbye and headed straight for the door. Rajna followed her and stopped her in the foyer just as she grabbed the door knob. "Hey, Anima," she said, looking guilty. "I'm sorry if this was uncomfortable for you. Maybe just you and I could hang sometime. Is that okay?"

"Yeah it's...it's fine," she said hurriedly. She couldn't take that look of pity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be in Mexico next week doing missionary work, so there will be no updates. Sorry!


	7. Chapter 7

It was official. Tom had the absolute best ideas ever.

"I don't know about this one, Tom," Ben said as he smoked out the window while lounging on the windowsill. "It seems a bit much, don't ya think?"

"Oh come on Bendy-dick," he snorted. "Martin and Chris are already in on it, right guys?"

"Yup," Chris mumbled around a banana.

"You got it."

"We haven't taken it this far though," Ben warned. “We should be careful about this.”

Tom tried to look hurt, although he was doing a shit job at it. He always tried to look so offended when people didn't see things his way, but he just saw it as a challenge to prove himself superior to everyone around him. Ben was always the more cautious member of their group. He was always doing careful research or being cautious about what moves he made when it came to everything. Tom saw that as no way to live his life. After a while though Ben did what he always would: give in to Tom.

Tom laughed in maniacal, theatrical way, rubbing his palms together.

"So how're we gonna pull this off?" Chris asked, drinking a bottle of Tom's dad's booze.

“Well, I had this brilliant idea to photoshop Anima’s head onto some hot porn star body. Then we’re going to post this shit everywhere. Online, on the street corners, in the school.”

“Sweet.”

"Martin, you're the photoshop expert. Get to it," Tom said, handing over his laptop to his friend on the floor.

For this to work out the way he wanted, it needed to look realistic. He wanted Anima to be scared and alone...just like he was when she left without a word. She didn’t call or get in touch. Nothing. Tom shook away the thought though and hurriedly put his mind somewhere less emotionally charged. He started naming all the characters from Shakespeare's work. He could remember them all because they were so fascinating.

Anyway, back to business.

"Alright," Martin said as he typed. "We need a picture of Anima, and then one of whatever porn star you like to jack off to."

"Check my photos."

"Jesus," Martin whispered. Chris was the first to scramble over while Ben looked reluctantly over his shoulder. "I might get a fucking nosebleed from this."

"Who's she?" Ben asked curiously.

"Doesn't matter, what now?" Tom laughed. He always preferred being a step or two ahead of his mates.

"We go into Photoshop, feather the face," Martin mumbled as he clicked away at something. "Then we...copy and add a new layer to the photo."

"You make that nonsense sound easy," Chris snorted. "Man, those tits are massive."

“Is her clit pierced?” Ben muttered, probably getting a hard on.

"Then we just add her face and make the skin tone and brightness fit. Now we have a naked Anima," Martin said, showing all of them the finished product.

He was good. He was very good. He should go into the porn business for a living. Tom would invest in it for sure. Tom could very well wank to that photo. It made him curious about what really was under all those layers the real Anima wore. He had Holly for that sort of shit though. If need be, he could just phone her up and tell her to haul ass to his place for some fun. Tom hadn't had to wank himself for six months because of herbeing on demand. Even though knowing she slept around pissed him off, he still liked to give her a call. He had no right to tell her off though since he gawked at Anima every chance he got.

"What now?" Ben asked, his eyes looking lighted up by the computer screen.

Tom grinned. "Send that to everyone in school. Put it all over the internet. Make at least a hundred copies. Tonight we'll sneak into the school and put this shit all over the place."

"I'm in," Chris said with a chuckle. “I could use a little fun. Elsa’s outta town, so I don’t get any action.”

"I’m in too," Martin added. "Finished by the way."

"Great. Ben?"

Ben looked wary of this whole deal. He suddenly took a beer can and swallowed its contents whole. "Alright," he huffed. "When in Rome, right?"

That’s right, Ben. When in Rome, destroy your target completely. He was going to get her back for all the pain she put him through. Bitch.


	8. Chapter 8

The last place Anima wanted to be after spring break was at the school. It had been so nice not having to be in constant fear of others and what they might think or do. She slept better, she smiled more and she actually put on a little weight which was great for her health. Coming back though, Anima could already feel the toll on her returning. It was like a palpable weight crushing her and pinning her down. She was reluctant to even get out of her mom's car, but she had to push through. She faced cancer, so she could face this too, right? No, wrong answer.

Everyone was staring at her and whispering to each other. It's like something you'd see on a bad sitcom, but this was real life. Someone whistled at her as she walked up the steps and into the school. Then she saw it. It was a picture of her naked. That wasn't her body though. When she got to her locker, she saw hers was covered in the pictures. On the papers, there was a small sample of text _: I want a good fuck. Come visit._ Anima felt blood rush into her cheeks as she took a step back. Was this really happening? To her of all people?

"Ms. Ruperre, please follow me to my office. I believe we have a few things to discuss," the Dean, Mr. Sheppard, said from behind her.

He kept his nose high as he parted the crowds with his glare alone. Anima followed close behind, but the students in on it were already stomping her feet, making lewd gestures or jokes as she passed and shoving and poking her. All of that was in the back of Anima's mind though. Did the Dean honestly think this was her doing? She was a victim! Surely they would see that and be on her side. Tom and his group were on the tennis and rugby teams though. What if they blamed her just so those guys could still play on the teams?

Once inside the office, Anima was asked to sit on a leather couch to the left of the door. She sat straight as an arrow in the corner of the couch. Her heart was hammering away rapidly in her very own chest. All she wanted to do was disintegrate into the couch. Mr. Sheppard sat at his desk to her left, looking at something on his computer screen in distaste. Oh no, was the picture on the internet too?! Anima kept her head down as he sighed and looked at her, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

She had tears in her eyes. A sniffle escaped her as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Ms. Ruperre," Mr. Sheppard said. "What do you have to say about this?"

"I didn't," she hiccupped. "I didn't do this. I'm sorry. Please don't tell my mom. Don't tell anyone. I'll clean it up, I promise."

"I'm afraid your mother must be notified of the situation. However, I do believe you had no part in this. Our computer teacher confirmed this was indeed photoshopped. Do you know who may have done this?"

"U-Uhm," Anima sniffled before grabbing a tissue. "I think I know who it might be."

"Yes?"

"Tom Hiddleston, Ben Cumberbatch, Chris Hemsworth, and Martin Freeman."

Anima could see the Dean's body language shift. He seemed tense as he ran a hand over his balding head. He loosened his tie and leaned back, seeming to relax into his surroundings soon after. "It seems those boys like my office a little too much. You may go, Ms. Ruperre. Rest assured, I'll take care of this as soon as I can," he said, calling the secretary.

Anima stood hurriedly, ready to be out of the hot seat. She rushed out into the hallway where she could just relax. However, there was someone headed her way: Tom. Dread filled her gut, and she hurriedly dashed into the bathroom just down the hall. She couldn't breathe, and she was starting to feel clammy from her toes to her lips. Her vision was getting dark and spotty. She couldn't let anyone see her like this. Hurriedly she locked herself into a stall and started rocking herself like she was insane. It took her nearly thirty minutes to calm down enough to even think about walking to class.

When she was finally able to calm down, Anima checked her phone. She would be just in time for her third hour. After her panic attack, she acted unusually tired and mellowed out. Even Rajna asked her if she was okay halfway through the day. The rest of the day was calm but torturous for Anima. People would avoid her or talk about her. She would hear her name in hushed tones, and she'd see people staring at her as they giggled to themselves. Rajna would glare at the people she heard, or she'd just ignore it and give Anima a look of pity. She hated it.

After school, Anima made sure she was one of the last people in the hallway. Shutting her locker, Anima started to head outside, but then she was slammed into a locker. Two veiny arms shot out to pin her there. When she looked at the face connected to those arms, fear washed over her. Before her was a very angry Tom. His blonde curls only made the shadows over his eyes darker. His jaw locked as he got closer to her.

"You just got me suspended, fat ass," he growled. "And now you've pissed me off. You shouldn't have done that," he snarled animalistically.

Anima wanted to run, but her feet were glued to the floor. "I-I'm sorry. I’m so sorry…please just don’t-"

Tom slammed his hand against the locker. "Sorry doesn't cut it, bitch. Next time you pull this shit and bust me, I'll own your ass."

Tom pushed off the lockers and walked away with confidence in his gait. Anima thought she was going to die. She hurriedly wiped tears from her eyes and dashed outside. Tom and his group were there waiting and watching her angrily. She ran over to the parking lot where her brother was thankfully waiting for her. Maybe no one would notice what had happened at school. Maybe she could get home and delete the school's message before her mom listened to it.

\---

Anima would have been fine with being bullied as long as her mom didn't find out about it. She had enough on her plate with her dad stationed in Germany, her brother in RAF training, moving to a different country, finding a job and managing Anima's medical debt. However, when she got home, her mom was already there going through the unheard voicemails with a notepad in her hand. She had her hair tied into a bun, and her glasses were at the edge of her nose as she rifled through mail. Anima felt fear run down her spine, and she ran for her bedroom, shutting the door loudly as she went. She wouldn't be able to look anyone in the face ever again. She was a failure to them. Now that they knew, they'd worry about her, and she'd cause her mom more stress.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. "Anima," her mom called. "I think we need to have a talk."

"Go away!" Anima yelled, pulling the covers over her head.

Her mom walked in anyway and locked the door behind her. “Would you like to talk about what happened at school?”

"No."

Her mom sighed. "Honestly, Anima, we just moved back here. We're just getting settled down," she mumbled.

"I-I know."

“I expected more from you, Annie,” her mother sighed. “You said you could handle going back to school. I knew I should’ve made you just take online school.”

“I know, momma. I’m really trying.”

"Who was it?"

"Tom Hiddleston."

"Are you sure?" her mom raised an eyebrow. "I should call his mother," she said tiredly.

“Please, mom, no. No. Don't make this any worse for me."

Her mother glared. “Fine. But I better not be getting any more calls. Sometimes I wonder if you’re worth it,” her mom’s eyes widened. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry, Annie. I’m just tired, you know.”

Anima smiled no matter how heavily her heart bled. “It’s okay, mom. I understand.”


	9. Chapter 9

Anima walked across the damp field behind the school with Rajna. Their Art teacher was also a tennis coach, and the semifinal qualifiers were coming up. For the school, it was a pretty big deal. There was a spirit week, a pep rally and the coach made them have classes outside near the court. Anima didn't mind it. She got to be out in the open air instead of in a stuffy classroom. When they got to the court, Anima saw Tom and Ben playing. They were two of the school's top players for the team. Watching Tom play wasn't as bad as seeing him on the street or in the hallway. It was actually kind of cool watching him move around and flex his thighs. He had such a look of determination and drive. It was almost handsome the way he barked out moves and calls. He had a look of excitement in his eyes like he was a child in a man's body.

Rajna pulled her from her train of thought just in time. "Hey, why do you smell like industrial chemical cleaner?"

"The Dean made me clean off my locker," Anima said, rubbing her arms. "It took all of lunch and last hour to get the graffiti off of there."

She remembered how horrified she had been when she first walked inside the school. After a fight with her mom the previous morning, Anima had been drained of her energy, and she wasn't allowed to miss classes just because she "felt tired." Upon dragging herself into the school and down the hall, she realized something was up. People were glaring and grinning at her like they knew something she didn't. It worried her. Then she saw her locker. It was covered in multicolored acrylic paint and lipstick. On the locker were names like "whore," "cow," "ugly bitch" and so much worse. The Dean was there waiting, and he told her to clean it up while he investigated the issue. Anima assumed that meant he just swept it under the rug.

"Seriously?" Rajna interjected. "What a load of bull. Honestly, this whole 'sports over students' thing is getting ridiculous."

"It's okay," Anima mumbled as she started taking notes from her book. "It isn't a big deal."

"Yes it is! If-"

Anima didn't hear anything else. She just felt an intense pain ram into the back of her head a dull _thwack_. A tennis ball bounced by as she reached to clutch the back of her head. Turning, she saw Tom grinning at her. The coach blew it off and kept practice going strong. Meanwhile, Anima was trying not to cry in front of everyone. Couldn't she get a break? Just a little one? She looked down at her book and saw little drops of water on the pages. Was it raining?

"Hey, Anima," Rajna said carefully. "Hey, it's alright. You don't have to cry. Do you need an ice pack?"

She was crying? Could she really not feel the tears falling out of her eyes? Anima reached up and felt the moisture on her cheeks. Had she really gotten so used to crying that she couldn't feel the tears anymore? Sniffling, she wiped her eyes on her sleeve and rubbed her head gingerly. She couldn't let Rajna worry about her. Rajna needed to study for the art test. She wanted to be a contemporary artist and sculptor. She had no time for Anima or her troubles. So what if she was getting bullied? It happened all the time to everyone around the world. She was no one special.

Class went on without a hitch. Rajna ended up quietly watching Anima out of the corner of her eye like a lion watches cubs. That was fine as long as Anima could sink back into her private shadows. They were on their way in after class when the coach remembered she needed to get something and left the group to walk back into the school. Anxiety and dread filled Anima from the tips of her toes. Then she saw Tom. He was right in front of her, and they were at the back of the group while Ben talked with Rajna. Tom suddenly slammed her things out of her hands and kicked them into the semi-muddy ground. Anima hurriedly picked them up while Tom laughed his ass off at her.

"You should see how ugly your face is," he chuckled. "I swear, it-"

There was a hot feeling racing outward from Anima's chest. Judging by the look on Tom's face, he was feeling something too. Then there was a feeling of being immersed in a sea of spiders. Her skin crawled and itched, and then she saw it: the glow. No. Not her...not with him of all people. This couldn't be happening to her. Tom looked just as upset as she did if not more so. He seemed much more serious now as he started to sweat under his uniform. If it was anything like Anima's, she knew he must've been confused and angry.

"Bloody hell," he hissed, trying to look for anyone who may have been watching. "Great, just great. Of everyone in the school, it's you."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Shut up! This is all your fault. Don't show that shit to anybody, you hear me?" Tom sneered as he pretended to punch her just to see her flinch. "You keep that hidden, or I'll find you and beat you until every fucking inch of you is black."

Before Anima could do or say anything, Tom stomped off. She saw him talking to himself and trying to cover his chest with the hoodie in his hand. Anima looked down at the soft white glow that dimmed and glowed with her pulse. This was supposed to be romantic according to everyone she knew with the glow. Even her parents and her brother had said it was glorious. It wasn't supposed to be painful or terrifying. So why did it hurt so much? Anima put a scarf over her chest and started walking back to class. What was she supposed to do? If she got close to Tom, the glow got brighter. She had classes with him! How was she supposed to keep this a secret?


	10. Chapter 10

Today was the big day.

It was her first day as a senior in high school, and she...she was all alone. She had no friends anymore…not there anyway. Rajna was a senior last year, and she graduated as valedictorian of her class. They talked as much as they could, but Rajna was busy traveling the world. Her parents gave her an allowance to see all kinds of art and culture before she went to art school. She was in East Asia last time Anima talked to her.

Anima looked at herself in the mirror as she got dressed for the day. She had gained a lot of good weight, and she had cuts on her wrists from...well yeah. Her glow was still there too. It was dimmer then at school since Anima and Tom avoided each other during the summer. No one in her family knew what was happening to her. Somehow she had been able to keep it hidden all summer by using a lot of makeup, undershirts and gauze. Now though, she had to wear a white blouse that was a little tight around the bust. She had gone up from an A cup to a C cup in three months.

Anima ran her fingers through her hair as she adjusted her skirt. Ugly. So, so ugly. She looked like she had a buzz cut, and the hair felt like puppy fuzz to the touch. Sighing, she slid on a pair of black Doc Martens Phina boots and walked downstairs after putting a bow around her neck. It was either that or a tie. Seniors had to distinguish themselves with neck attire apparently. Either way, Anima looked gross. She could practically hear Tom and the others making fun of her when she walked into the school building. Grabbing her car keys, she ran out the door and hid herself in her car. It was like a portable sanctuary. As she drove, Anima could feel her anxiety mounting. She would have to go to school, and she would have to face Tom alone. She would have no help.

As soon as she parked, she could feel the warm soft tingling under her skin and in her chest. It was getting brighter too. That's when she saw him. Tom was in between the legs of his longtime girlfriend, Holly. He was making out with her and pulling her close, practically humping her. Why did it hurt so much to watch him do that? She'd seen him do stuff like that before. It was like a physical ache in her bones. Why did she want that? Anima looked away and sighed tiredly. She already hated her school, but now she just had even more reasons to hate her life in general. As soon as she stepped out of the car, Tom looked her way and then he looked down at his chest with a petulant glare. Anima walked by as quickly as possible and went to her usual locker.

As she was getting her things, she heard someone walking up to her. It was Holly…and Tom. Holly had pretty tan skin and brown hair. She looked so pretty…so sensual. Anima wished she could only look so beautiful. Holly glared at her as they went to pass her, but then Tom steered himself around. A splash of water hit Anima in the back. Everyone started laughing.

Then Tom saw her black lace bra strap. He reached forward and made it pop painfully against her skin. "I'm pretty sure those aren't school appropriate. You shagging the Dean or what?"

"N-No, I-""Hey, you're glowing," Martin said as he walked up. Everyone started closing in on her like vultures. What did they want? Why wouldn't they leave her alone?! "So who's the poor bastard, eh?"

"I think it's-"

"Move along, students," a teacher said as she stepped through the crowd of kids to get to the middle of it. "There's nothing to see here."

Anima tried to escape amongst the group of students while the teacher had her back to her. She really did. She didn't want to deal with any more people that day than she had to. The teacher stopped her though, and Anima felt her stomach drop down into her toes as soon as that manicured hand touched her dry shoulder.

"Ms. Ruperre, I’m afraid you'll have to pay for all those books you've ruined. They're school property, you know."

"But it wasn't-"

"You're the one in possession of them, young lady, so you must pay the cost. Now, go to the office and they'll write you a bill and requisition you new books."

"But-"

"Ms. Ruperre, I will not tell you again. Now go."

Anima locked her jaw. "Yes, ma'am."

As Anima walked down the hall, she saw Tom look at her with a smug grin.

Anima wanted to crawl into a hole and die. What made it worse was that everyone was snickering at her or talking about her as she passed. She could practically hear the names they were calling her, and it would get worse before it got better. Knowing her luck, it would never get better. The books Tom ruined would probably cost a fortune. Her mom would be so pissed when she found out. Then her and her dad would want to know what was going on, and then they'd want to solve the problem for her. They would demand to talk to somebody. No, no, no.

Anima could feel the anxiety slowly bubbling up in her like a ticking time bomb. When she got to the office, she puked in a nearby trashcan. The faculty looked at her like she was the devil himself by the time she was done. Was it a sin to be so terrified? What had she done to deserve any of this? Why would no one take her side or help her? They probably thought she deserved it. They thought she was a pathetic weakling, and she needed to fend for herself like a good girl. Anima just wanted to curl up and die. Maybe she could just rot away under a rock somewhere. She'd be better off that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some people think Anima shouldn't feel attracted to Tom, but in my mind, Anima thinks of "the glow" in a romanticized way. She is beginning to feel physical attraction to Tom because she feels like she needs to. It's kind of the same as an attraction because of an arranged marriage. She feels obligated.


	11. Chapter 11

Tom was in his room trying his best not to think about Anima. Everything had been fine over the summer because he didn't have to be near her, but since school started, he was stuck. He couldn't get her out of his head no matter how damn hard he tried. He couldn't quit thinking about that fine ass and how her tits were so much bigger and perkier. That black bra nearly gave him a hard on. Grunting, Tom tried to focus on anything else but her. It didn't help that he still had that photoshopped nude of her on his phone and computer. Sometimes he caught himself fantasizing about her while he wanked off. He was pathetic, but it made him want to see her naked even more. His mum was away with his sisters for a baby shower, so he was all alone with his thoughts in the house.

Not for long.

Tom dialed the familiar number and waited until he heard Holly pick up her phone. "What are you doing tonight?" Tom asked.

"Absolutely fucking nothing," she purred, probably knowing exactly what he was calling her for.

Perfect. "Would you like to come over and visit me? I’m alone."

"That sounds great...Tina. Let me ask the mum," she said before talking to someone else. Tom could hear her shut the door before long and heard her get into a car. "Alright, I'll be there in a bit. Should I bring condoms or do you have some?"

“I have some.”

“The ribbed kind.”

“And they’re flavored.”

When the knock came at his door 45 minutes later, Tom already had everything ready. He was horny and needed to get Anima off the brain. What better way to do it than with someone else's pierced tits in his face? He opened the door, hurriedly jerking her inside. He started kissing her, working her over while pulling her coat and purse away. As he kissed Holly, he started to wonder what kissing Anima would be like. He could almost imagine those plump red lips and that cute patchy tongue and-

"Shit," Tom hissed.

"What?"

"You want a beer?" Tom grumbled as he marched to the kitchen and popped open two cold beers from the fridge. He handed her a beer and went into the living room. He plopped onto the couch, picking up the remote.

"You seem tense, baby," Holly cooed as she took a long swig of beer. "I think I can help with that," she grinned at him as he licked his lips, shifting his legs a little to make more room for his growing erection. “You wanna fuck?” she asked, sending a thrill through his body that shot straight to his cock.

He nodded lazily.

Holly crawled over his legs and straddled him easily. He placed his hands on her hips and squeezed her ass. That's right, this was Holly in front of him not Anima. Holly crossed her arms in front of her and grasped the bottom of her dress, pulling it all up over her head in one go. Tom’s hands slid up her sides and he molded his fingers around her tits. Her hands moved to cover his, arching her back and pressing his hands firmer into them. He had thought of this so many times, fantasized about being with Anima.

_Not Anima, damn it!_

"Fuck me, Tom," Holly purred into his neck before sucking on his earlobe. “Do it now, or I’ll go find someone better. Maybe Martin will do me.”

He yanked his t-shirt off and pulled her against his chest. His mouth pressed to her throat and his tongue danced over her skin. His arms tightened around her, pulling her down again as his hips lifted, and he moaned at the intensity of his desire to be inside of her. Tom wondered what it would be like to hold Anima against him, to feel her skin on his. He wondered if she would be cool instead of sweltering hot like Holly.

He needed to focus. He was about to shag Holly not Anima. Tom rolled with Holly on the couch, and she stretched her arms up over her head as Tom dipped his mouth down to her breasts. He pulled a nipple into his mouth, rolling it with his lips and tongue, feeling it harden and pucker in his mouth. He moved to the other one, sucking gently as he kneaded with his hands. Tom moved down her stomach, his teeth grazing as he went, hands exploring the curves that Holly didn't have.

Now, Anima...she had some hot curves. His trembling fingers hooked into the waistband of her underwear, and he pulled them off her legs. He sat back on his heels, breathless as his eyes raked over her. He nudged her knees apart and slid them along her inner thighs to her apex. Tom thought about eating her out, but he refrained when he remembered who he was fucking. He didn't know where Holly had been in the past few days.

He placed a tender kiss on the inside of her thigh and sat back on his heels, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. He pushed them down his thighs, and smoothed his hands up her legs and over her belly, bracing one arm on the couch as he moved to hover over her, taking a tit in his hand. He lowered his body weight fully against her after slipping a condom on and dipped his hips, sliding into her in one fluid motion.

Damn she was loose. She clutched at his back and angled her pelvis under him, and he plunged deeper into her, seeking out some kind of tightness. This was a waste. It just made Anima seem that much more appealing. Her fingernails clawed desperately at his skin, her body pushing and pulling at him simultaneously.

"Tom," she grunted, her body beginning to spasm.

He felt it and he rose with her to his peak. "A-An-" he pulled her legs high around his waist and pushed as deep as he could, feeling her muscles clamp around him and milk him. He didn't even cum from it.

They breathed deep, coming down together, and when Tom raised up. "Alright, get out. Now. My mum will be back soon. I'll see you at school I guess. Take your thong with you.”


	12. Chapter 12

"Watch where you're going, cow," Tom barked as he shoved Anima sideways into a bank of lockers behind her.

She hissed as her clavicle made impact with the harsh, cold metal. At least this time she wouldn't have to explain her bruises to her mom and her dad. It was getting harder to explain away her injuries when she came home. Her glow started to get brighter, so Anima tucked into herself to avoid being noticed by others. If anyone found out, she would be dead.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, keeping her head low.

When Tom and his gang finally left, she slid to the floor, back resting against the lockers. She was so exhausted with having to constantly watch over her shoulder to see where Tom and his buddies were. It was a relief to just sit unafraid of what was around the corner. The late bell rang shrilly, and Anima muttered a curse under her breath before gathering up her books and rushing to second period.

It was later in the day, before she even thought of leaving for home when Anima realized she left her keys in the locker room. As soon as she walked into said locker room though, she regretted it. Holly was there with a few under classmen. She was on the swim team, and she was quite good. The last Anima heard, Holly was the co-captain this year with Merlyn.

Holly sneered at her. "Girls only, tranny. No chicks with dicks."

"I-I just need to get....m-my keys."

Holly winked at a friend. "Oh sure, I’ll let you get them, but first," she caught Anima's arm in a tight grip with manicured claws. She and two girls started pulling her towards the swimming area. "We need you to do something for us. There’s a bracelet at the bottom. Go get it."

"No, H-Holly please. Please, don't throw me in, no-" she could feel herself cartwheeling off balance. "I can't swim!"

It's true, she couldn't. Ever since an incident back when she was four, Anima couldn’t even think about swimming. They were at the community center pool, and Tom dared her to jump in. Everyone else was standing in the water, so why couldn't she? Those were people over four feet tall though. She remembered what saved her back then too: Tom. He jumped into the four feet of water while Chris screamed for help.

Now her friends were her enemies. They'd probably like to watch her die in the most horrible way possible. Drowning. It was nightmarish. They'd laugh and drink booze and eat popcorn while she sank to the bottom and fought for air. Then they’d let her body float on the bottom and bloat sickeningly until her flesh schloffed off.

"Hey, Holly I-"

Her confession was a second too late. She was off-balance, falling over the edge into the diving end of the pool. She looked up at the girls and saw what may have been worry…but she could’ve been wrong. Then she felt herself sinking, dragged down by the weight of her skirt as it tangled around her legs. Anima was in full-panic mode now. She didn't get a breath before going under, too busy shouting to manage. Her lungs were burning as she swallowed mouthfuls of chlorinated water and kicked her legs, wildly trying to reach the surface. The binding on her chest was suddenly so much heavier.

Anima was going to die like this, alone and in the high school swimming pool because a bully thought it would be funny. She all but resigned herself to her fate, her limbs slowing as her energy left her. What good was she doing anyway? All she had ever been was a burden. First was the cancer, then the bullying and now her parents would have to occupy themselves with her funeral.

She was giving up. On life, love, the future, everything. All she had to do was close her eyes. However, she felt a strong hand around her wrist and then a tug.

"God damn it, Holly! What the fuck was that for?!"

Wait a minute, Anima knew that voice. It was Tom. He was pulling her out onto the pool deck. She felt something touch her neck gently. Then air was being forced into Anima's lungs. Why was he so cruel? Why couldn't Tom just let her die? That was what he wanted all this time. Wasn’t it? After a while, Anima jolted as Tom did chest compressions, and she started to vomit up what seemed like buckets of chlorinated water.

"Fuck, call 999. Now!" he yelled as he rolled Anima onto her side.

Anima was still coughing weakly when she managed to peel her eyes open. Her eyes burned from all the chemicals. He stayed and held her up until the ambulance came. After that though, she didn't see any more of Tom. He probably just didn't want to incriminate his girlfriend and most of the swim team for what they had done. Typical. For a moment there, Anima actually thought Tom may be like he was all those years ago. She was an idiot for wanting him to be her knight in shining armor; she was an idiot for ever feeling that spark of hope in her chest. She really had nothing to live for anymore.

That's when she noticed the glow. It was dying, and so was she.


	13. Chapter 13

Anima finally got out of the hospital after staying three days for observation. They needed to make sure she wouldn’t get pneumonia or respiratory stress. Her throat still burned from the chlorine, and she had bruises on her sternum from the CPR that was given. She sounded like a toad when she spoke. Her parents wouldn't let her miss any more school though. She would get behind. Thankfully, Holly wouldn't be there to bully her. Anima's parents wanted to press charges for attempted murder, so she was spending her time in a cell and courtroom.

Her dad told her he wanted to drive her to school, and he wished her the best of luck. She definitely needed it. Anima could just imagine what Tom would do to her for getting his girlfriend into trouble for knocking her in the pool. That sounded ridiculous, but she would put nothing past Tom when he was angry at her.

Anima grimaced at the fluttering pain in her chest. Her glow was fading substantially. Almost dying had broken her. All she wanted now was peace, and that would only come in her death. What she was enduring was like a slow, painful suicide. The doctors tried to give her something to slow the process and ease her misery, but she refused and swore them to silence. Her parents couldn’t be told Anima was dying. Maybe it would make Tom happier if he knew she was dying, and maybe he wouldn't bully her as much anymore.

Upon entering class, Anima was viewed as a pariah. No one would come near her or look at her. It was almost worse than being bullied by everyone. When Tom and his group came in, Anima physically curled into herself. She tried to hide, but she was sitting at the front of the class. There was no way Tom wouldn’t see her. She was going to be killed. He was going to kill her. She saw a pair of jeans standing in front of her. Cautiously, she looked up and saw Tom looking at her.

He looked down, smiling like he was her best friend, and then he seemed to pale. He looked sad, upset, shocked. But why? She was dying, and he wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. He should've been happy. "W-Why is your glow-" he whispered.

"I'm giving up. I surrender. You...you should be happy. You won't have to deal with me anymore. Soon, I’ll be six feet under…just like you wanted," she croaked, feeling her emotion overwhelming her already scratchy voice.

"Wha-"

"Mr. Hiddleston, please take a seat."

Tom turned out to be a problem. He followed Anima wherever she went. He kept trying to talk to her, and she kept denying his advances or slipping away. It was like a weird game of hide and seek in the high school. She managed to dodge Tom for a long while, but while she was sitting outside at lunch, a book forgotten on her lap, Tom found her.

Anima was enjoying the warmth of the sun on her skin, the light wind playing with her cheeks when Tom stepped behind her, laying his hand on her shoulder. Anima flinched and panic dug into the pit of her stomach. Why was he here? Was he trying to attack her while no one was paying attention? Was he trying to get her alone to…oh God. She started shaking, and her breathing was getting shallow. The sides of her vision were started to go black.

Tom looked hurt by her reaction. "Hey, uhm, can I sit here?"

"Why?" she felt the knot in her stomach growing tighter. “So you can hurt me?”

Anima pretended to focus on the lines, out of the corner of her eye she was watching Tom get down next to her. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I was a total ass, and I...I was wondering if we could be...y'know, friends."

Anima was an idiot. She actually felt a bit of hope rise in her chest. She had to be some closeted masochist to want him to be her friend. “Why won't you leave me alone?” she hissed between her teeth like a wounded animal.

“W-What?”

“Does torturing me like this help you get your rocks off? Do you like hurting me by dangling friendship in front of me?"

"A-Anima, no. I-"

"Leave me alone!" she screamed with tears in her eyes.

Anima stood and ran towards the school building with tears in her eyes. For a moment there, she had felt her heart starting to flutter again. He was going to drag her away from death just to throw her there himself in another way. She wouldn't fall prey to him. She was going to die on her terms. Not his! Not this time! Anima didn't stop running until she locked herself in the bathroom.

She could hear Tom banging on the door, asking her to come out. He wanted to talk to her. Anima could almost feel her heart fluttering, but it wasn't enough. She wasn’t going to let him play savior just so he could kill her another way. Anima sat in the bathroom until he gave up, and even after that, she hid in the stall. She couldn’t move. It was like she was paralyzed as tears silently slid down her face and she rocked herself in a corner.

“Not again…not again….not again.”


	14. Chapter 14

_Tick._

Anima pushed the pause button on her iPhone, halting her quiet night of studying. It had been a few hours since class ended for the week, and since Anima had nothing to do, she chose to mope and study. Dropping her pencil, Anima stood from her black swivel chair and looked around her room. It was nearly nine at night, and she could have sworn she heard a noise somewhere. Anima scoured her bedroom, looking under her daybed, in her small closet, and in the hope chest at the foot of her bed. There was nothing.

Flinching, Anima noticed it came from her window. Curious, she walked to the frame and stared. It wasn’t long before a pebble bounced off her window pane. Luckily, it didn’t chip the glass. Who would tap her window with pebbles? Was Rajna back? She would be one to do that sort of thing. Opening her window, Anima peeked out and saw a familiar head of curly blonde hair.

"T-Tom?" she asked in horror and shock. How did he know where she lived? Did he come to beat her up? She was home alone. She could hear the news station now: _Girl Murdered by Teen Heartthrob_. What if he broke in?

“Oh good, you're up,” he spoke loud enough for her to hear, but not loud enough to wake anyone in the neighborhood. "I was starting to run out of pebbles," he chuckled awkwardly.

“W-What are you doing here?" she asked just a bit louder.

“Shh, keep your voice down. You’ll wake your parents,” he hushed.

Anima seemed to be a glutton for punishment. "They're in Sunderland for the night, and my brother is with a girl. I'm home alone."

“Er…oh," he mumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“What did you want?" Anima asked tensely, not wanting to talk to him. "And how did you know where I lived?"

"I found my mum's address book. Wanna go to a party with me? Everyone’s gonna be there,” he asked nervously.

“I can’t, I, uh, have stuff to do. I have homework to finish,” she said, panicking internally. Why was he being nice? He wasn’t supposed to be nice to her. He was supposed to be mean. What was he playing at?

“Just one night. C’mon, it’s Friday,” Tom begged.

"I don't know."

“Please? I’ll stay here until you say yes.”

“W-What?”

“I’m staying.”

Anima gripped the windowsill, both frustrated and embarrassed at his persistent behavior and attention. With a sigh, Anima finally gave in to him. She was dying anyway, so she might as well entertain whatever Tom had in store. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t give in…not until she gave up anyway. She shut her window and put on a sweater and some jeans before rushing down stairs. She grabbed her phone too in case she needed to call 911. Grabbing her house keys, she opened the door to see Tom standing before her with a silly grin plastered on his face.

“I’m glad you’re coming.”

“I can only stay for a little while."

“Of course,” he said as he offered his arm to her. Could Anima trust him? What if this was all a trick? She'd have to be careful.

They arrived at a house filled with teenagers both inside and outside on the lawn. It was a good-sized house with two stories. There were people shuffling drunkenly through the door, and as Tom led her in, she realized it reeked of alcohol and weed. This was a bad idea. The living room itself was hazy with smoke, and teens were passed out on the couches. Instinctively, Anima cringed closer to Tom since he was the only one she knew. Keep your enemies close, right?

“Tom! Glad you could make it,” Ben said as he walked up. He had graduated last year as well. "And Anima? Hey, how've you been? You look better."

“I hope you don’t mind that I brought her along."

"No problem. Anyway, there are drinks in the cooler, and they’re doing shots in the kitchen. If you want to blaze, check by the pool,” Ben explained as he patted Tom on the shoulder before looking down at her. “Just have fun, relax.”

“What’s happening upstairs?” Tom asked, seeing giggling couples stumbling up the stairs.

“What do you think?” Ben questioned, grinning lecherously, raising an eyebrow.

“Drag ‘n shag?”

“Yup."

Anima blushed crimson at the crude term and gently gripped Tom’s arm a little tighter. This scene was one she generally tried to avoid. Tom looked down at where Anima was holding onto him and seemed to smile in understanding, sensing her discomfort.

“Alright, thanks. We’re off to the pool," he said as he led her to a circle of people passing a neon pink bong around. “Which one of you is my man?”

“I am,” a man with black cap on his head said as he blew a stream of smoke.

Tom nodded when he motioned for them to join the group.

Anima followed Tom and sat cross-legged on the grass, keeping a cautious eye on the other people as well as him. She was on high alert. Anima blinked, realizing that most of the teens were from school. Their eyes were bloodshot red, but they were smiling like idiots. The man passed Tom the bong and a small lighter shaped like a penis. Tom flicked the lighter, burning the weed for a split second. She watched him inhale the smoke from the long end of the device, fascinated at how he could so easily draw it in. Then she observed him let out a long exhale of smoke.

“Good stuff,” Tom complimented.

Anima looked at the other teenagers in the yard; she watched as they chatted in a relaxed manner. Couples were lying on the grass staring up at the clear night sky, whispering and sniggering. They all looked so comfortable without the stress of life. She wished she could be so relaxed. Then she was handed the bong. Well, maybe she could be relaxed.

Tom leaned down to the side of her head, his mouth close to her ear. “No pressure, Annie.”

Anima took the bong with an intense blush covering her cheeks. She couldn't chicken out. Tom would ridicule her if she didn't do it too. With shaky hands, she clutched the bong and lighter, and then followed Tom's example. The burning sensation caused her to clench her eyes shut as she pulled the bong away. She couldn’t hold back the rising cough though as the smoke left her mouth, her tongue suddenly becoming parched like cotton.

Tom just smiled as he patted her back. “You get used to it. I'll grab is some beer."

"Uhm, no thanks. This…i-it’s enough"

"Suit yourself," he said as he walked off towards a cooler, leaving her alone.

Once again, Anima found herself holding the bong and inhaling the drug, enjoying the feeling of her muscles loosening and the thoughts of ridicule and anxiety fading. This was better than her prescription anxiety meds. After taking several hits, she leaned back in the grass. Then she heard someone sit next to her. It wasn't Tom though. It was Martin.

“What’s a cow like you doing at the party?” he asked as he took a drag from his cigarette.

Anima looked away, not comfortable with Martin or what he was saying. Was this Tom’s idea? Was this why he brought her? Maybe she was just hallucinating. Maybe none of this was real. That happened with weed, right?

“You here with someone?” he asked.

Anima nodded and started looking for Tom, hoping to find him, and she did. Except, it wasn’t what she expected. Tom was leaning next to the cooler with a beer in hand with Merlyn laying her hands on his chest, flirtatiously blinking up at him. She whispered something in his ear as she studied his expression, which changed to a perverted grin. He was completely focused on her, his eyes dragging down her tanned neck to her small bust before shooting back up. Pain started to swell up in Anima's chest again. Wait, why did it hurt? Did expect anything different? She looked away hurriedly.

Inhaling another hit of weed, Anima steeled her expression as she noticed Martin follow her gaze to Tom. “Tom, eh? That's weird,” he said while scooting closer.

Anima shrugged, she knew she wasn't good enough...not for him…not for anyone. He didn't want her even though their glows matched. That's why she was going to die...alone. She was ugly and unwanted; no wonder Martin was shocked. She was shocked too.

"He's a little too good for you, isn't he?" Martin asked as he casually laid his arm over her shoulder. "Does it hurt knowing he’ll never want you like those others? That all you will ever be to him is the girl on the side with his glow?” he grinned, seeing the pained expression in Anima's eyes.

Anima blearily blinked her eyes, wanting desperately to disappear back into her room. She could feel the tears coming to her eyes. No, no she couldn't cry. Anima just wanted to be buried alive with her own misery.

“Hey!”

Anima switched her attention to the angry shout behind her. Tom was marching towards her. She tensed, noticing the stiff hostile posture he held with his fists clenched at his side. Oh no, this was it. He was going to hurt her, beat her. No, no, no. As Anima flinched, he grasped Martin by the shirt and yanked him up.

“Did you hurt her?"

"Aw, c'mon man. It was part of the game."

“Wrong answer, cunt,” Tom scowled as he raised a clenched fist and swung it forcefully into Martin's cheek, sending him flying. "You see this! All of you," he yelled as he showed them the very bright glow under his shirt. "I am in love with Anima Ruperre! She is my glow! You screw with her, and I'll fuck you up!" he snarled. “Got it?! Good!”

Anima jumped up sometime during the unexpected attack. Swaying a bit, she stumbled back and fell on her behind, not quite used to the dizzying fog disorientating her controls. She felt a throb of something, and she looked down at her chest. There was barely anything visible in her chest that resembled a glow. Tom studied the crowd’s uneasy expression, most of them avoiding his direct gaze while others shuffled back to their previous activity.

Tom took her hand in his with surprising gentleness and walked out the back gate with her in tow. Once home, Anima let Tom come inside. Well, he more or less let himself in. She could care less at the moment though. She could smell the heavy alcohol on him. “He shouldn’t have done that to you,” he mumbled with spite.

Anima sighed shakily and headed over to her fridge. She pulled out two waters and handed one to him, careful to stay out of his reach. They both stood there, staring at each other as they gulped down the cold liquid. "I-I should thank you...for stopping him a-and... defending me."

“Are you angry at me?” Tom asked.

"No, well yes...but..."

"But? What’s the problem?"

“I’m trying to think…my brain is all fuzzy."

"I'm a complete ass,” Tom huffed as he thrummed his fingers on the counter. “I...I just don’t want those wankers hurting you. I got so…so mad.”

"Oh," Anima said nervously.

“Will you...y'know, be my friend now? Maybe more?”

Anima took a step back. No. He couldn't be. Why couldn't he just go back to being mean and hating her?! This was so much worse than him being mean! Her heart was racing, and her breathing was getting faster. She was going to pass out. It would make her life so much easier if he would just be mean. He watched her, eyes taking in her flushed cheeks and scared look. She shook her head, and his look became worried.

"Anima? What's wrong?"

"Please, don't do this. Don't pretend like you like me."

"But I do like you. I-"

"No!" she screamed. "Hate me! Hate me so I can die! Don't torture me like this."

"I could never hate you, Annie. I know I was an ass, but I just-"

"Get out, Tom."

"Annie, I-"

"Now!"


	15. Chapter 15

Tom woke up ready to see Anima.

After a few weeks of begging, she finally let him drive her to and from school. That was after he pestered her into letting him carry her things to class too. She was so cautious of him. It was like trying to get a mouse to eat out of the palm of his hand. He was trying so hard to get her to like him or at least talk to him.

When he saw Anima falling into the school swimming pool, Tom’s heart stopped. He knew she couldn’t swim. He was the one that saved her the last time she tried to swim. Without a second thought, he had thrown of his outer clothes and dove in. She had looked so peaceful under the water…like she was asleep. It terrified him. He thought she was dead. When he got her to breathe again, he had never been so relieved in all his life.

That’s when he realized something. He loved Anima. He was a complete idiot. He was a cunt, a bastard, a jackass and so much more. How could he have acted so bloody thick? He had ruined practically all of his chances. There was no way in Heaven or Hell that he would be able to redeem himself in Anima’s eyes. That’s when he saw her chest. At first, he had thought she was just covering it up, but then when he got closer he realized he was wrong…so very, very wrong. She was losing her glow. She was dying…and he had killed her.

His goal in life became saving her. He had to redeem himself and save Anima. Ever since seeing her chest, he tried his hardest to get close. He was only just now getting her to ride with him. He hadn’t even gotten her phone number. He had every intention of getting it before the week was out though so he could keep in touch with her, talk to her. Maybe he could get her to trust him more if he talked with her that way.

As he arrived in her neighborhood in his Peugeot 106, he was greeted with a strange sight. His mum was on Anima's porch, trying to comfort a crying woman in a suit jacket and pencil skirt. She looked a little like Anima in the cheeks and eyes, so he assumed that was her mother. As he parked and walked closer to the scene, he noticed Anima's mum was shaking with sobs. Questions started filtering through his mind almost instantly. What happened? Had someone gotten hurt? Was he too late to save Anima? Was she dead?

“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” Tom asked as he jogged up.

“Tom,” his mum started solemnly. “Josie's daughter disappeared today. She hasn't been seen since last afternoon."

“I know that you and Anima weren't close, but do you know if it’s possible that she’s at a friend’s house?” Anima’s mum pleaded.

“I-no, she doesn't have many friends. But what do you mean she disappeared? Like she’s gone? She’s not in the house?”

His mum nodded with a heavy sigh.

Tom blinked once, twice, as the gears in his mind began turning. He thought back to the conversations they had had lately and none of them involved any mentioning of her leaving. No matter how much he racked his brain for some tiny bit of information about where she could be, he couldn’t find an answer. She always acted so guarded around him. Slowly, his brows furrowed and his lips dipped in a frown as he felt his stomach drop in fear.

“I’m going to the authorities to report her missing. You go on to school, Tom," his mum said as he continued to think.

He could almost see that peace on Anima’s face again. It terrified him. He nodded, seemingly calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside he was a wreck. His mind shut down with all his thoughts focusing on Anima. He was distraught and at a loss as to what he should do. He wanted to help her, damn it!

Visions of her lying dead on the road or shivering alone in a drug den plagued his mind. That peaceful look of death plagued him most of all though. He was thinking of her in a coffin or an unmarked grave because they couldn’t identify her body. With a shake of his head, he willed himself to walk over to his car. Running his fingers through his hair irritably, he contemplated his next move. He closed his eyes and tried to remember her face. The next time he saw her, he wouldn’t let her get away from him. Not again.


	16. Chapter 16

Tom was alone in his bedroom listening to Shakira when the door started to open slowly. It was like something out of a horror movie; it was pitch black. Then a hand appeared from the darkness. It was feminine, and the nails were painted the color of grapefruit meat. It was Anima. She was back! Wait, why did she have all her hair back, and since when did she wear revealing clothing? Tom wasn't going to complain about this wonderful opportunity though. She was there…with him. In fact, Tom stood and closed the door behind her, taking in her delicate perfume. Anima pressed herself to him, the softness of her body wrapping itself into his nooks, crannies and fears. She felt so warm and real.

Tom began to breathe slightly faster when she pressed against him. He nearly wept that she had finally accepted his apology...his love. Her breath, wafting through his hair, made his skin prickle into goose pimples. He could almost feel his pupils dilating as the light dimmed around her. He sighed softly into her hair and raised a hand to her soft, smooth cheek. “Anima,” he murmured as he rested his forehead against hers. “Oh, Annie.”

She claimed his lips in a passionate, possessive embrace and then proceeded downward to his neck. Tom was nearly overwhelmed by it all. He nearly blew a load in his pants. But how had she been able to reach his lips and neck? She only reached his chest normally even with her only pair of heels. No matter. She was here with him…that’s all that mattered. Tom ravaged her coconut-scented flesh with his lips and fingers and made slow, torturous work of her lace nightdress, removing it with a tenderness he had never shown anyone before. Then again, there had never been anyone like her before for him. She was his glow. As he leaned further into her, pressing kisses to her collarbone, her breasts, he could not deny his burning, unquenchable desire for her. Why would he want to? He started shucking off his clothes, enjoying the way her nails lightly scraped against his stomach and chest.

She slid her hands down further to his dick. Those hands felt so good, so warm and soft. Tom broke the embrace, throwing his head back. “Fuck,” he groaned. He felt like a virgin. Then she went down on him. Oh shit. Another strangled noise erupted from his throat. "No...Annie, not now. I-I can't."

He pulled her back into his embrace and up into his arms. He carried her cautiously to the bed, careful not to drop her. He tenderly laid her down and just stared at her like she was a marvelous piece of art one should not touch. Anima put a finger under his chin, drawing him in like a siren into the rocks. She twined her hand with his as he moved to hover over her in an almost catlike way. "Do you trust me?"

She just nodded and smiled softly.

“You are safe, I swear it,” he whispered. “I will never hurt you. I will never let anyone hurt you. Never again."

Her mouth moved, but no sound came out.

He exhaled heavily and snaked an arm around her, easing himself into her, her flesh enveloping his. He let out a yelp, bucking into her. Tom's eyes widened and he gasped for air. Then Anima went stock still under him. Tom looked down, and he was fully clothed. He was looking at Anima from the doorway of his room, and she was in his bed facing away from him. How the fuck did that happen?

“Annie?” he whispered. “Are you okay, love?”

She stayed still.

Tom walked forward and extended a hand to her shoulder, pulling slightly to try and get her attention. She rolled over, terror in her eyes as a knife protruded from between her breasts, precisely where the heart was beating below the skin. She reached for him, blood spurting from her mouth. It hit him, covered him, and she sputtered more as she tried to speak. The last word on her lips before she fell off the bed, dead, was his name.

Tom screamed and screamed until he bolted up...in bed. He sat in the dark until he quit shaking. Not knowing where Anima was was wearing on his nerves. At this rate, he would end up in a mental hospital for paranoia and insomnia.


	17. Chapter 17

This was getting ridiculous.

Tom decided to take the logical step to finding the lost love of his life: look for her himself. Tom slipped downstairs and took the keys to his mum's car. As he shoved the key into the ignition, he tried to think of a place she would run to. Shifting the gear into drive, he pulled out of the driveway and sped down the street. It was cold, and she was always frail, always vulnerable to getting sick. It made him feel sick thinking of her shivering in some alleyway. No punch or injury or sickness could compare to what he was feeling at the moment.

The thought of her never being in his arms tormented him, but most importantly it devastated him. Tom needed her. She was an important part of him, and he wished he had told her earlier before she disappeared. Desperation spread through him as he drove to the only place he could think of.

\---

Anima stumbled on a sharp rock, before she caught herself. She screeched as her flip-flop slipped off before she slipped it back on her tiny foot. Their families were on vacation together to Porthcurno, and Anima and Tom were exploring. They were playing in the craggy cliffs, looking for adventure. However, they were getting pretty far. Anima could hardly see their parents down on their beach chairs under the polka dot umbrella. She nervously tried to catch up to Tom as he jumped and hopped about like there was nothing to it while Anima toppled over with almost every step.

"Tooooom, wait up. I can't walk that fast!"

Tom huffed and stopped.

“Didn’t our parents say we weren’t supposed to go this far?”

“It’s okay. We'll be back before they know it,” he answered while looking at her. “Here, grab my hand. You’re my damsel in distress.”

Anima reached up and grasped his hand. He heaved her forward and didn’t release her until she was sure of her footing. Peering over the edge and out to the ocean, they watched as the pounding waves crashed against the rock. Anima barely had a minute to catch her breath before Tom let out an ecstatic squeal.

“Look!” Tom squealed as he pointed to a cave. “C’mon, let’s go check it out!”

He began hopping on rock from rock, leaving Anima behind again. Her feet started their own slow walk, uneasiness beginning to creep back into her thoughts at what tragedies would happen if she never saw her mommy and daddy again.

“T-Toooom, wait!”

He raised his head and waved his arm towards her. Anima rushed as fast and safely as she could to reach Tom. When she did, the two of them were staring into the mouth of an enormous cave. The only sounds were those of the ocean splashing against the rocks and the wind whistling inside.

“Wanna check it out?”

“Nuh-uh."

“You scared?” he questioned with a big goofy grin.

“No!" she yelled with a pout.

\---

The night sky was blanketed over the ocean and the only light available was from Tom's headlights. He parked as close as he could to the sand then dug through the car, successfully fishing out one of his mum's emergency flashlights and a blanket he brought along. He made sure it worked before trudging towards the shoreline. It wasn’t long before his feet led him to the rocky pier, the cave much smaller than he remembered it to be. Pulling his jacket closer to his body, he steadily began his ascent over the rocks. As he came towards the mouth of the cave, he felt a rush of wind chill his skin. Tom walked briskly into the grotto, shining his flashlight around, looking for a body in the darkness. When he found none, he pressed deeper.

Tom felt his heart clench as he turned the corner and saw nothing except a small field of grass and a few mushrooms. She wasn’t there. He let out a defeated sigh, ready to turn around when he heard the faintest sound of a pained sniffle. It was quiet, almost too quiet, but he heard it. He was certain. Tom swiftly pointed his flashlight to the darkest corner and saw someone curled up against the wall. Relief washed over him. He found her. She was huddled in a small bundle, arms wrapped around her knees and her head was bowed down, trying to keep warm. Once she saw the light, she raised her head up and squinted at the brightness, her tear-streaked face tearing up his heart. The moment recognition flashed through her eyes, she let out another sob.

He ran to her in an instant, dropping to his knees and pulling her into a crushing hug, wrapping her in the blanket he brought along. He couldn’t figure out what he was feeling as he held her in his arms. His heart was beating so quickly. She was shivering uncontrollably and there were smudges of dirt on her face, but she was breathing and awake. Clenching his eyes shut to stop tears from running down his cheeks, he rocked her back and forth gently.

“Don’t ever do that again."

She didn't move. She just trembled in his arms like a frightened rabbit. He pulled away to examine her. Her eyes had heavy shadows under the lids, as if she has not slept for weeks, and her hair was messy and oily, indicating she didn’t shower in a while. There were dirt stains on her sweater and, as he upturned her hand, her palms were dreadfully raw. Her jeans were cut open at the knee where dried blood was caked, and she looked so pale. Like she was dead…or close to it. The moment she met his gaze, his chest tightened in anguish. There wasn’t even a tiny flicker of joy in her eyes, only a deep sorrow.

“Why did you leave?” he questioned as his unyielding grip tightened on her.

"So I could die alone," she said, rubbing her chest where her glow was supposed to be.

"Why? Why must you do this to yourself? To me?" he choked into her hair. "Annie, I love-"

"No!" she yelled, her voice hoarse. "Please, please hate me! You have to hate me! Hate me!" she sobbed. "Maybe I won't be so afraid of dying if I know you hate me...I'll have no regrets of loving you."

Tears finally spilled from Tom's eyes. "Anima, I loved you even when I thought I hated you. I was an idiot, a rotten bastard. Please forgive me. Let me love you," he sobbed. "Let me save you."

Anima stared into his eyes and gulped as she sealed her mouth shut. Her bottom lip trembled. "Y-You...you really mean it, don't you? You're not trying to hurt me."

"Oh God no, Annie," Tom sobbed as he clutched her to his chest. “I was so worried, so scared," he whispered before he pressed his forehead against hers. “I thought I’d never find you. I looked everywhere.”

The cave was suddenly illuminated by something other than Tom's flashlight. Tom looked down. Both of their chests were bright with bioluminescent light. Tom broke down then. He broke down in relief and rocked her in his lap. She finally accepted his love. She would live, and he would love her with great extravagance. Anima curled herself against him as he rested his arms around her waist. He pressed his cheek along her forehead as they embraced. He had so many questions, but they could wait until another time.

“It hurt, Tom. It hurt so much," she whispered against his chest. "This feels..."

"I know."

Tom shifted her body so she was facing him, both her legs clinging around his waist. His fingers gripped under her chin as he forced her to stare into his eyes. “I love you. I will always love you,” he vowed, fond of how naturally the words felt. “I know I was a total cunt. But I've always loved you. I was just bottling up so much...when I first saw you. I was angry that you left, angry that you never called or emailed, and I felt so much sadness seeing you like that. But, that's no excuse," he cupped her face in his warm hands as she remained silent. “I love-"

Anima smiled then. Tom felt his heart soar into his throat. "I love you too."

Tom smiled, feeling his heart swell with gratitude at her response. Her hands fingered through his hair, lightly scrapping his scalp and tugging on the edges, just how he liked it. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her body closer to his, causing her hips to grind against his groin. A low growl escaped his throat while he buried his face in the side of her neck, inhaling her scent. He intertwined his fingers through hers.

“Thank you, Tom,” she muttered softly. “For not giving up on me.”

She kissed him. Her lips felt so soft and so tender, like a plum. He pulled her in further and let his tongue escape to prod at her mouth. She jumped, but then she let him in. Her tongue was cautious and clumsy, but that just made her that much more endearing.

He pulled back from the kiss and smirked at her. "Was that your first kiss?"

"Was it really that obvious?" she blushed. "It was terrible, wasn't it?"

Tom smiled. "No, no way. In fact," he said before he stole several more kisses from her sweet lips.

Anima blushed dark red.

"You know we have to go back,” he whispered.

“I know, but not yet. I don’t want to,” she said, a begging edge in her tone.

"We can stay a little while,” Tom agreed as he placed a kiss on her forehead.


	18. Chapter 18

Anima was sleeping in the hospital bed she seemed to be drowning in. It was like a giant white monster enveloping her, swallowing her. As soon as Tom brought her back home from that icy cave, he and their families rushed to the ER to check on her condition. It was on everyone’s mind. Would she make it out of this okay? The doctor said she was underweight, and her vitamin levels were really low. She needed stitches for her leg injury as well as antibiotics. The glow bacteria needed to be monitored too, so the doctor wanted to keep her there for a few days to be safe. Much to Tom's joy, the doctor insisted Tom stay nearby as much as possible to help with the glow bacteria as well as Anima's mental state. Tom had no qualms about that. In fact, he decided to stay overnight so Anima's parents could go to work. Hell, he even got a school note!

When Tom first visited, he had lavished Anima in gifts, flowers, chocolate and affection. He wouldn't ever let her go unloved again. Ever. Even as she slept, he made sure to lavish her. He lay in the bed beside her and held her even now, brushing his fingers over her the fuzz on her scalp gently. Her vibrant features were pale and listless. She looked so weak and helpless. He made it his top priority to protect her. Tom would never let her forget that she was his and he was hers. She had always been his. From the very first smile that she had graced him with to every teardrop that she had ever shed in his presence. She was sweetness and innocence while he was ferocity and boldness.

A soft smile twitched onto her sleeping face before her face relaxed. She looked almost childlike. He would go to great lengths to protect that smile. He wondered what she dreamed, what had her so enthralled that she would not wake, would not come back to him. He wanted to see those big blue eyes stare up at him. He held her tight, trying not to imagine what would have happened if...if he hadn't thought to look in that cave. It was a last ditch effort going there. He almost didn’t. If he lost her...he would not comprehend that. He would not fail her again; he would protect her with his life. This time he would show her, find a way to tell her how important she was. It was apparent she was too insecure to deduce it herself.

He would hold her close when she was awake and able to acknowledge that she was in his arms and would stay there willingly of her own accord. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. A sigh moved from her lips. He hoped she dreamt of him as she slept. He hoped she dreamt only of the bestr so he wouldn’t have to worry about taking those nightmares. There was only so much he could do to help her. She had to help herself too. He had to teach her that.


	19. Chapter 19

The high-pitched bell rang throughout the classroom Anima sat in, signaling the beginning of the upper classmen lunch break. Every student shuffled their binders into their backpacks and rushed out of the room, eager to be first in the lunch line for the hottest meals. Some stayed back, avoiding the cramped exit, and among the group was the ever so timid Anima. Tom came to stand beside her desk as she put all her things away. As she was going to sling her bag over her shoulder, Tom took it from her and hooked it over his own. He flashed her a smile before offering his arm.

Anima still had trouble trusting Tom, obvious by the flinch when he took her bag. She felt like she was in a dream within a dream. Surely this couldn’t be real? Tom continued to prove to her that everything that was happening was very real. He always looked so sad when she showed signs of distrust, but that seemed to push him to try getting closer. He often called her his “timid little nightingale” as a pet name. What did that make him though? A mockingbird?

So far, the school day hadn't gone completely wrong. No one harassed her or snickered at her. If they tried, Tom would block her from their view and glare protectively at them as if threatening death itself. Tom no longer allowed Anima to be alone. It was like he was scared she would vanish if he looked away for too long. Sadly, since she and Tom both wore their glow openly, they were the talk of the school. They were the "perfect couple" in everyone's eyes, and suddenly everyone wanted to be Anima's best friend. If that wasn’t bad enough for her non-existent self-esteem, now she and Tom would spend the next half hour eating with his graduated friends and Chris at a nearby park. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Anima took Tom's arm and let him lead her to his car.

As they walked through the park with their lunches Tom bought from a farmer’s market, Anima couldn’t help but feel the collective stares of everyone, scanning her body. She hunched her shoulders a bit and tried her best to hide against Tom's side, to try and hide away. Anima had an entire speech set in her head just to try and befriend the guys in Tom's cluster. Even after they had been so cruel, she really wanted to make Tom happy by getting along with them. However, that plan went down the dumps when her body’s instinct to avoid human socialization kicked in. Her heart was beating fiercely in her chest they neared the table.

"Tom, I don't wanna do this anymore."

"It'll be alright," Tom smiled. "I promise. Here," he said, handing her their lunches before scooping her up in his arms.

Anima shrieked in surprise, effectively drawing his friends' attention.

“Hey! Tom! What d’you got there?” Chris called out

“She’s got a nice ass,” Martin whispered, making Anima hide her face in Tom's neck. She was pretty sure she felt Tom squeeze her thigh then too, likely appraising Martin’s assumption for himself.

“Jesus, put the poor girl down! She has legs, you know,” Ben said with a huff. “Let her use them.”

“All right, all right,” Tom responded, sitting her at the table gently.

Anima examined the four guys, excluding Tom as she set out their lunches for them. She was terrified that at any moment, the bullying and mocking laughter would begin. What if this was all an elaborate farce? Her heart was racing, and she remained still even as Tom sat beside her and hugged her to him with a smile. That seemed to snap her out of it. The guys talked for a little while before their attention finally landed on Anima who was being extremely quiet.

"So," Ben asked. "Anima, how's your senior year?"

"It's uhm...it's alright. I guess."

"You're a quiet one, aren't ya?" Martin chuckled as he bit into a sandwich.

“Yeah, she is," Tom said, winking at her. "Go easy on her."

"Y'know," Martin said through is mouthful of food. "She’s kinda cute now that I’m lookin’ at her,” he said eyeing her lips and sending her a wink.

“Watch it, cunt, she’s off-limits,” Tom threatened.

The guys laughed happily and Tom engulfed Anima in his strong arms, laying a discreet kiss on her forehead. She nuzzled her nose into his chest, forgetting about the what-ifs that could have happened and instead enjoyed the feeling of Tom pressed against her. She let him feed her a piece of fresh pineapple and blushed as he licked away the stray juices.

“Dude, get a room!”

“Piss off, Chris!”


	20. Chapter 20

Anima felt awful. Not the kind of awful when she felt like a human punching bag or the kind of awful when she sometimes ate too many sweets. No, the pain she was in was nothing compared to her previous experiences with pain. She was ill, puking her guts out in bed while her family was out doing their normal routine. It was all made worse by Tom, who was standing next to her with a worried look in his eyes. She hated the fact that he worried over her like a mother hen. Anima tried to convince him that she was fine, that she knew how to take care of herself before she promptly turned over and began retching in a trash bin.

"You’re not convinced, are you?” she grimaced before wiping her mouth with a tissue.

Tom shook his head, a heavy frown and scrunched up eyebrows marring his handsome features.

Anima groaned and laid back on the pillows with a soft thump. She didn’t have the energy to argue or send him off to school where he should’ve been, and she was blatantly losing the fight anyways. Her body felt weak, the constant sweating began dampening the thin blanket Tom had insisted she have over her, and she most certainly did not feel like eating or drinking. Tom looked at her as he sat in her pulled up moon chair. Anima's stomach grumbled as she laid a hand over her belly.

“I’m not going to die, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she remarked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I know,” he responded

“So why are you so gloomy? I’ll be better in no time…unless you’re expecting me to die,” she said, struggling to get a breath in between pangs of intense nausea.

“Don’t say things like that! You know I’d never-” he began.

“I was joking, Tom," she cut him off before gulping down the dryness in her throat.

“Do you need something?” he paused. “Wait here.”

Before she was able to give an answer, Tom stood and headed towards the door. It was just a week ago when they were laughing and actually beginning to feel like a couple. He came back moments later, shuffling a large bowl of water in his hands and a bottle of water between his teeth with a sleeve of saltines in his back pocket pocket. Walking towards the bedside table, he put everything down very carefully. Anima noticed a small hand towel floating in it.

“Music?” he asked while digging in his school bag, looking for his cell.

“Queen."

Music filled the room as Tom started slowly feeding Anima crackers. She was starting to feel a bit better…just a little bit. She was embarrassed to admit it, but Tom’s company alone was lifting her spirits up. Sure, she was still clammy from her sweltering fever, and her head hurt like nobody’s business. She could push through it though as long as he stayed with her.

"I’m glad I get to be here for you, Annie. This time, I’ll take care of you, my little nightingale.”

Anima smiled up at him as he scooted closer to the bed. He wrung out the wet towel in the bowl while Anima watched, admiring the loving look he held for her. Their eyes didn’t leave each other's as he leaned over her and dabbed the towel over her forehead, wiping away the sweat and cooling her hot skin. He was careful when he brushed away stray droplets that threatened to dampen her pillow, using only the tips of his long fingers.

“That feels good,” she hummed.

“Thanks for letting me do this."

“You’re staying the night, right?” she asked softly.

“Yeah, our parents said it was fine,” he answered, rinsing the cloth and placing it on her forehead carefully. Anima scooted over closer to her wall as Tom moved to lie next to her. “Are you comfortable?” he asked as he pulled her into the crook of his arm.

“I’m very comfortable.”

Tom smiled and began to run his fingers through her stubbly hair. It felt so relaxing and calm. Her heart rate slowed as she laid her head on Tom’s chest and listened to his heartbeat. As she pressed into him, she heard him sigh softly, and then he started to hum. However, the hum soon turned into a light snoring up above her. Maybe things would be different now. Maybe she would actually get a happy ending.


	21. Chapter 21

"It's Leukemia."

Anima's whole world froze when the doctor said that. It wasn't possible. Leukemia was cancer and there was no way she had cancer...not again. There had to be some horrible mistake. She was only seventeen; she would be eighteen in two months. She had a great boyfriend and decent grades, and she was a cancer survivor. She could not get cancer…not again. She blanked out for the rest of the visit, only vaguely understanding she was being sent home to pack and then be admitted to the hospital. There was a large tumor on her uterus excreting excessive hormones causing the cancer to progress rapidly. It needed to be removed. She caught bits of sentences saying that they caught it early and she had a good chance, but it didn't seem real to her. Only a couple of weeks ago she had been laughing with Tom. Her parents were just supposed to be overreacting about her being sick. She was supposed to walk out of the doctor's office and roll her eyes at their babying. She wasn't supposed to walk out so she could pack for the hospital.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there when her mom put her hand on her arm. "Anima? Did you hear him?"

The moment she looked up, she found herself bursting into sobs. For a moment all she wanted to do was pull away and yell. All she wanted was someone to make it better. She wanted Tom, but he could do nothing to save her. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Anima locked herself in her room the moment she got home. She couldn't deal with anyone and she had one night to figure out what she would need and want while she was in the hospital. Still half in a daze, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent Tom a text that was probably much too blunt:

_I have Leukemia. My treatments start tomorrow._

She listened to the frantic beeping of her phone as she pulled out her suitcase and looked around her room. What did you take with you to spend who knows how long in the hospital being sick? Books, the stuffed cat Tom got her while she was sick…with this horrible disease.

"Anima!" her father called from outside her door.

"I don't feel like eating, dad."

"You need to try and eat something when dinner is ready, but that's not why I'm calling you. Tom is here. He’s been here for about twenty minutes?”

So much time was passing, and she was standing still. It was like she was standing in the middle of the Temps while water rushed by, not waiting for her to begin swimming again. Who would swim there though? Maybe that was the point. Her life was like a toxin destined to drown her. "I'll be right there," she managed, looking in the mirror reflexively, before realizing she couldn't care less. She opened her door only to find her father still standing there. As soon as he saw her, he pulled her into a hug.

“We’ll get through this,” he murmured as he held her head to his shoulder. “You and me remember?” he whispered, reminding her of the promise. She couldn’t die before him.

Once he let her go, Anima made her way into the living room, only to find herself pulled into another hug, this time by her boyfriend. There was a long moment where he simply held her. No words were said as neither had any idea what to say. Maybe he was in the water with her. "What do you need?" he asked as he finally pulled away from her. "I'll do anything."

"Tom, can you just...stay with me for a while?" she asked, letting her mask slip. She was shaking as tears slipped from her eyes. "I'm scared."

Tom let out a sob before picking her up and carrying her to the couch. He kept her in his lap and rocked and kissed her. As they wept together, Anima's dad just nodded and walked away. Tom took her face in his hands and kissed her slowly and repeatedly. "Oh, Annie, Annie, I'm so sorry."

"What are we going to do?" she asked. Maybe if they cut ties now, Tom wouldn’t have to see her die and then die as well. Medicine and science were getting farther with separation techniques for the glow. He could go on with his life.

"Marry me."

Anima froze. "W-What?"

"Marry me, so I can take care of you...be with you. Please Anima, I spoke with your parents, and received your father’s approval. Please, say yes Anima."

"Y-Yes," she said, smiling for the first time that day. "Yes, I’ll marry you.”


	22. Chapter 22

"Okay, I can do this. Just one step a-at a time," Anima grumbled slowly hobbling across the span of the hotel bathroom.

She chanted encouragement in her head as she wobbled pathetically in her new bright red fuck me heels that seemed to have a death grip on her poor ankles. She had just purchased the shoes along with a satin corset with a tiny skirt and thong to go with them. It was supposed to be her present for Tom tonight: on their wedding night. However, Anima never was all that graceful, and often opted for comfort over style. She had even gone barefoot for her wedding only a few hours earlier. Picturing Tom's face only fueled her desire to keep practicing. She dreamed of one day being the stunning woman Tom deserved. Anima knew he loved her more than words could describe.

Soon, Anima's feet numbed, and she lost track of the time. Her arches screamed, her calves burned and she felt like she was swaying on the ledge of the highest building in the universe.

"Annie are you-" Tom froze as he stared at Anima, now only wearing his black trousers from before. "Holy fuck."

Anima's face flushed as she cleared her throat. She hadn't wanted him to see her just yet. "S-Surprise. Do you...like it?"

"Do I like it?" he asked, astonished. "Annie, babe, I have a fucking hard on. You're bloody gorgeous!" he declared, drawing her out of the bathroom and into the open. She felt so vulnerable. "You could be covered head to toe in frumpy clothes, and you would still shine brighter than the sun."

"Tom," Anima muttered with a blush as he looked her over and guided her to the bed on the left.

"Here love, take a seat," he sat her on the bed and crouched between her legs, giving a wolfish smile that sent the heat straight from her face to her...down there. Long fingers slowly pulled her leg onto his shoulder, kneading out the tension in her calf. Small moans escaped her lips as he worked a knot out that had been there since Anima had slipped into her wedding gown. Maybe even longer.

He repeated the same love and affection on the other leg, relaxing her whole body. Anima's eyes closed as the weight of her eyelids became heavy with the pampering he bestowed. Hands skimmed up and down her legs, caressing up to her heels and kissing her ankles. His kisses slowly turned into nips, and she felt him migrating lower.

"God, you smell great," his mouth skimmed over her sex, eyes boring into hers, primal and blown wide. His jaw seemed to clench in an attempt to control himself.

Air vacated Anima's lungs as arousal made her feel on fire. "T-Tom."

Instantly his lips crashed into hers like a tidal wave. Her mind was swimming and dizzy with anticipation and endorphins. The heat was pooling in her abdomen and pulling her down like a weight. Tom quickly pulled the thong and corset off. She tugged at the buttons on his shirt earning an appreciative growl from somewhere deep in his chest. Next to come off were the heels, but for some reason he left the sheer frilled skirt.

"Leave it," his voice was animalistic as he fumbled with his zipper. No sooner had he freed himself, he pushed into her.

Anima yelped and bit her lip. She felt something like a bee sting in her. Tom groaned throatily and clutched her arms tightly. He stayed still for a while until he started to curtly thrust into her. She keened as love bites were showered over her neck and chest. His hand gripped under her knee, hiking it to her shoulder. His mouth kissed along her calf, up to the ankle and his eyes glided over her entirety.

"Fuck, Annie!"

Grabbing her other leg, he hiked it up as well, hitting something deeper within. His eyes flew open as his voice raised in pitch and intensity. Anima watched his face contort in pleasure before watching him sink into the bed beside her. His arms wound around her in a fierce hug, and her name was a whisper that ghosted past her ear as he licked and toyed with it. They both lay panting on the bed, not bothering to untangle themselves from each other.

"I love you, Anima," his soft voice cooed.

"I love you too, Tom. I suppose I should wear frilly skirts more often if you are going to react like that to me," she giggled as he helped her remove it and pulled her under the sheets with him.


	23. Chapter 23

The heart monitor beeped with Anima's heart beat as she slowly woke up. Chemo always did make her want to take a nice, long, relaxing nap. She felt like she'd been hit by an 18-wheeler though. Her eyelids seemed to weigh tons, and it took everything she had to keep them from slipping again. Before she slept again, she needed to drink something. She needed to check on Tom too. He had been so dutiful and caring with her, staying in the hospital even when he could be at home resting. It was more than she could ever ask for from him.

Looking around, Anima wondered if Tom had gone home to rest like she suggested. Her answer came in a groan as something clutched her hand tightly. Tom was sound asleep, his head rested on his arm on the bed while he held her hand with the other one. At least he was getting some actual sleep. They were both working hard to pay bills and keep their heads above water. They agreed they wanted no help from their families; they wanted to manage on their own. Anima was an editor online while Tom did theatre productions and waited tables.

"Tom...Tom," Anima managed to force from her dry throat as she ran her shaky fingers through his hair gently.

Tom sat up slowly, then realized what was happening. "Hello there, gorgeous. How are you feeling?" he asked with concern in his eyes. He took her hand in both of his, careful of the IV, and began gently soothing it.

"I feel like I've been hit by an eighteen wheeler. Other than that," she said before she licked her dry lips. "I think I'm alright."

His hand moved to her forehead. "You were out of it for a while. I went home, took a shower, packed another bag and ate. When I got back, you hadn't moved an inch. I seriously wondered if you were in a coma or not."

Just then, a nurse walked in the room. "Oh, my, you're finally awake. How're you doing right now?" he asked as he walked in and hooked her to a BP cuff. He took her pulse too and read his laptop charts as he checked her IV bag.

"Sore. Thirsty. Tired. Nauseous."

"Those are all common symptoms I'm afraid," he said as he typed something up in her chart. "I'm gonna tell the physician you're up. If you need me, just press that button."

A few minutes later, her doctor walked in. He was and older man with bushy eyebrows and no hair on top of his head. There was some on the sides of his head though. He reminded her distinctly of Patrick Stewart when he played Picard in Star Trek. However, he was quite a tubby fellow, likely a beer gut. "Hello, Mrs. Hiddleston, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine considering the circumstances, just tired."

"You should get as much rest as possible. Even when you feel rested, you should rest some more. Now, your blood tests are looking great. The only problem left is that tumor on your uterus that's secreting hormones. We should be able to operate on the tumor within the month though. After that, you can go back home to finish out your treatments."

Tom smiled. "That's great. Thank you very much, doctor."

"I'll check in again tomorrow. Try not to exert yourself, young lady."

"Yes, sir."

Once they were alone, Tom held her hand and ran his cheek over it carefully. He was starting to grow stubble. It was long enough not to hurt, but it was short enough to not be considered any type of facial hair per se. "I won't leave you. You're safe and I'm here," he assured as he took her into his arms and held her close. "God, I love you so much," he whispered. "I've been so worried."

"Can I ask for a favor?"

"Anything. Anything at all."

"Could you get me some orange juice or something before I die of thirst?" she asked with a smirk.

He laughed hard for the first time in a long while. "Yes, of course. Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"I'll be right back."

"Get me something light like…fruit salad or yogurt."

"Your wish is my command." He kissed her, lips moving slowly with hers. Before she could say a word, he left.

Anima sat alone for a while, trying to cipher through the fog that clouded her head. She could hardly do any sort of proper work in her state. She looked down at her chest and stared at the glow that resonated there. It pulsed under her skin in tandem with her heartbeat. It was a comfort for her now…a sort of security blanket.

A few minutes later, Tom returned with a plastic sack in his hand. "I picked these up in the gift shop," he said while taking a Snickers bar out of his pocket. I dumped the contents of the bag onto her bed. There was a magazine, a Snickers bar, a Fuze, a couple of yogurts and sandwich.

He put his arms around her tightly as she started to eat. He turned on the television and turned on Top Gear, something he watched almost religiously. When she was done, she laid back and tried to rest her eyes. Even chewing seemed to suck the life from her veins. Tom began running his hands gently through her hair and pulled her head down onto his chest. Anima felt the mattress sink back as he made her more comfortable. Tom's heartbeat was soothing and hearing his breathing was comforting to hear. It was like a template for her own breathing.


	24. Chapter 24

Tom stood looking at a display of necklaces in a jewelry store. He couldn't decide which Anima would like better. It was going to be a birthday present for her. Not many knew when her birthday was. She didn't tell anyone because it made her feel like a burden. Tom was still working on that. It was one reason he decided to plan a surprise party for her. He tried to think of who all they considered friends while planning it: their family, Rajna, the gang and a few select others would suffice which is what he had decided a week prior when he invited everyone and told them his plan.

The party was going to be held in four hours in Annie's hospital room. Tom even received special permissions from the staff and administration on the room occupancy limits, but only because it was Anima’s birthday. Everyone wanted to see Anima happy it seemed. All Tom had to do now was find her a gift worthy of her. He was in a small Swarovski boutique near his and Annie's apartment. Anima would never openly admit it, but she adored Swarovski designs. Tom loved watching her face light up and her eyes getting greedy when they saw the items in a catalog she subscribed to. It was almost the only time he saw her think of herself. No matter how much it cost, Tom wanted to make Annie happy. He still felt so guilty for what he did to her. He was always feeling that way; he deserved it too.

The only other time Tom saw her eyes light up was when she got to hold babies. She would cradle them close to her chest, and she would hum softly to them. She fit so perfectly into the role and image of motherhood. She sometimes just stared longingly at baby clothes and shoes when she thought Tom wasn't looking. Tom could tell she desperately wanted children of her own. He couldn't give her that though. Not with the chemo in her system and the tumor on her uterus. She probably wouldn't push the subject even if she could conceive. She would put the notion of motherhood aside so she and Tom could be closer and safer financially. Anima was a saint. Tom was a wretch.

"Can I help you, Sir?"

"Just looking for a gift for my wife," he said, biting his lip in concentration.

"Ah, a special occasion?"

"A birthday," he said as he honed in on something. "May I see that?"

"An excellent choice, Sir. This is the Match necklace design. It is one of our newer designs, and it's very popular with our other customers."

"I'll take it."

\---

Everyone was in Annie's hospital room trying to help set everything set up. The doctors were talking with her to keep her out, and they were walking around with her telling her she needed the movement and blood flow. Everyone brought gifts, and Annie's parents brought a massive cake. Everyone sat in the chairs all around the small room. Balloons and decorations hung everywhere as they shut off the light and hushed to listen for Anima’s return. Tom could hear Anima's doctor as he spoke with her while walking down the hall. She was using a walker and probably wearing a pair of sweat pants and a tube top because sleeves irritated her port on her collarbone. The door began to open, and when the light flicked on...

"Surprise!"

Anima looked shocked, not to mention beet red with embarrassment when she realized what was going on. Just as Tom predicted, she was wearing a tube top with flannel lounge pants. She was wearing a black beanie with decorative pins in it on her head too to keep herself warm. She looked even more beautiful than on the day Tom married her. Tom walked up and helped her to her bed, noticing her weakening legs as she stood frozen in shock.

"Happy birthday, darling."

"Who planned this?"

"Tom did," Chris said from behind. "He's been planning this for weeks."

Annie looked at him with childish wonderment in her eyes. Tom was the one blushing now. Everyone said their hellos, chatted with each other and they ate. Anima had quite a sweet tooth, so her parents bought a s'more cake. She was ecstatic even though she didn't say anything; Tom could see it in her demeanor. They were all eating and having fun talking. However, soon the doctors and nurses came in. Visiting hours were over two hours ago. After everyone had cleared out, Tom encouraged Anima to start opening the presents everyone sat at the foot of her bed.

She looked at the large pile in awe before grabbing a present wrapped in Spongebob paper. "From Martin, Happy B-Day," she read as she opened it. She held up a brown stuffed puppy.

The next present was wrapped in pink skull paper. "From your in-laws, Happy B-day," she read. Inside was a box of Russel Stovers.

Tom was already thinking of the bedroom opportunities for those.

The next present was wrapped in flowery paper. "From Mum and Dad and Brandt, Happy Birthday." Inside was a gift card to Anima's favorite bookstore.

The next present was wrapped in bunny paper. "From Rajna, Happy Birthday sugar. Go make me some godchildren." Inside there was an authentic belly dancer's costume. Tom was going to have to hug Raj when she returned from travelling.

The next present was wrapped in bird paper. "From Ben, Happy Birthday." Inside was a black stuffed cat from Build-a-Bear. It was wearing a nurse outfit too.

Next she picked up an envelope. "From Chris, Happy Birthday." Inside the envelope was $20.

"Last one," Tom announced as he handed her his gift wrapped in elegant gold and green paper. It had a delicate bow on top too. He had to have a clerk at the jewelry store wrap it. When Anima opened the gift, she gaped.

Tears filled her eyes and she shakily pulled the necklace out. "T-Tom...this is so expensive. It's Swarovski," she explained as she put it on and admired it. "Thank you so much. Oh, it’s gorgeous."

"Happy birthday, love," Tom said as he hugged and kissed her. "So...you want to try on the belly dancer outfit?"


	25. Chapter 25

"Mr. Hiddleston?" Dr. Johnson called out to the waiting room. Tom stood quickly, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pant legs before running his fingers through his messy curls. "Could you please come into the back with me, and I will lead you to where Mrs. Hiddleston is." The doctor motioned for him to follow.

Tom nodded and followed him. They went past several rooms until they came to the doors labeled POST OPERATION INTENSIVE CARE UNIT. The doctor clicked the automatic open to the side, and they continued into the fairly sterile environment. There were four nurse stations in a row, each had fifteen sets of screens and vitals—one for each bed. Tom looked and found Anima's near the middle, and the vitals looked stable. Tom searched the rooms with glass walls and sliding doors. It looked like a setting out of Star Trek. The doctor motioned to the door and said he would be along shortly.

"Hey baby, how ya doin'?" Anima slurred. They must have given her pain killers. She was lying in the bed, one arm above her head and the other across her chest. She looked like a female Count Dracula.

"Hello, darling, how are you? Are you feeling okay?"

"As you can tell Mr. Hiddleston, your wife is a little loopy,” the doctor said as he walked in and checked his laptop where her information was stored away.

Tom smirked. "When can I take her home?"

"She can recover at home as soon as she's able to walk. We don't want any clots forming in her legs. We went in laproscopically, so there’s hardly any evidence of surgery. She’ll be a bit bloated from our pumping air into her abdomen. Just have her lay still."

"Alright. So I'm guessing the surgery was a success?"

"It was a complete success,” the doctor seemed to cave in on himself. “However, there was a complication. I'm afraid she cannot have children. The uterus was damaged slightly during the removal of the tumor. The tumor was metastasized to the tissue. There was no way around it I’m afraid."

A knife seemed to stab Tom straight through the heart. He may have actually flinched a little bit at the news. Anima and he had talked about having kids after she recovered, and Tom had signed on with an agent. They were supposed to be happy now. What went wrong? Now, Tom would have to see that sparkle of hope fade from her eyes. She would be devastated, possibly deadened, but Tom would love her no less. He went and signed the paperwork to begin the process of taking her home before he returned and sat beside Anima with a heavy sigh. Right now, he couldn't focus on his pain. He needed to focus on his wife and how he could best help her. That was his job as her husband: to be there for her and take care of her.

"You want to try and walk, love?"

"Uh huh."

Tom put an arm around her back and swung one of her arms around his neck. Holding her up straight, he tried to get her to take a step even as her body protested and tried to slump down.

"Ooooooooooh, doesn't someone smell awfully nice today," Anima asked as she flung herself on him, swinging her arms around his neck and playing with the curls at the base of his neck.

"It's the same cologne that I always wear," he chuckled while regaining his balance. He started making Anima use her feet, and after a few laps in the hallway, she was able to hobble around without nearly killing herself in the process. Tom found a wheelchair and brought it to her, sitting her and her things down in it in that order. "Let's get you home, darling."

"Using our special word, aren't ya? Trying to get your way with me? Well, I'll have you know, that I have a very special plan as to what I am going to do to you."

Tom chuckled. "Not yet, we aren't home yet."

"Yes we are. Hey, who took the house?!"

Tom just let her continue to ramble as he wheeled her to their car. He opened up the passenger door and deposited her gently. He lifted her shirt, checking the incision just to be safe and then buckled her in. By the time he returned to the car after returning the wheelchair, Anima was livid. "Why Tom?! How come I'm not driving? I ALWAYS drive the Kitten, or did you forget that. Kitten. Ruff."

"I'm sorry, Annie, but you're still a bit too loopy to drive."

"I am not loopy! How dare you say that to your wife?!"

Tom sighed as he started the car and glanced over to see her glaring at him. Then she kissed him roughly, nearly breaking his nose in the process. He struggled out of her grasp and tried to keep her still while she tried to climb him like a tree. "Annie, not right now. I'm not going to take advantage of you while you're taking drugs."

"Yeah, sure, let's see how long you can resist me," she said as she slid a hand over to his knee and one down his chest.

Tom pulled out of the parking lot and started heading home. After not getting her intended response, Anima finally gave up and started poking her cheek. The endeavor to get her into the apartment was nearly too much, but he finally got her laid out on the couch. Now he was in the kitchen looking for something she could eat and drink. He needed to keep her hydrated and eating regularly.

"Tooooom, where's the food? I'm dying," Anima's voice wailed.

"Oh, you'll survive; just give me a minute."

He decided on ice cream and grabbed two spoons before lying behind her on the couch, positioning her in between his legs. He handed her the pint and turned on the tele and found a good Tom Hanks movie to watch: The Green Mile. As they watched, Tom was trying to figure out how he would explain to Annie that her dream of being a mother wouldn't come true? She would hate him. By time the credits rolled in, Tom realized Anima was sound asleep against his chest, mouth open and drooling. She groaned and shifted, pulling his hand to her stomach, her eyelids fluttering open.

"Annie?"

"Hey, how'd it go? Was the surgery successful?”

Tom sighed heavily. "We need to talk, Annie."


End file.
